Wynging It

It's UP!!

2006-08-15T13:28:00.000-05:00

For those who care:

I've officially moved. http://wyngit.typepad.com

The other 2 blogs are in-the-making, and yeah. Yeapos.

wyng

So....

2006-06-27T19:48:00.000-05:00

Weather Forecast: Thunderstorms, 18 degrees C

So this blog has been pretty dead. And I'd like to update people who'd care to visit (thanks! btw) about the status.

1. The soundtracking project was kinda a flop; because of lack of contributor interest :( It's a pity actually...

2. The soundtracking project would be re-invented on a personal level; I'd soundtrack my background of my life and yeah. So it'd be reinvented. End of story.

3. I am relocating in cyberspace; blogspot has been amazing to me, but I'm going to move to typepad. There, I'm going to link up both the soundtracking project (now that this is going to be a personal thing) and also start up a more 'issues based' blogging project, together with a 'whine blog' which I'm sure we've come to know and love. (This is my whine blog by the way)

So yeah. I apologise for the stagnancy of things; but great things are afoot. Wooo.

wyng

The finale of the Ebay fiasco

2006-06-03T20:52:00.000-05:00

Weather Forecast: 23 degrees C

So.. after much harassing and redirection, I finally managed to retrieve my USD 871. What a relief. You know it's bad when you've been asked on the phone for your mum's maiden name and debit card number so many times that you can recite the latter. But it's resolved. So that's good.

Meanwhile it's exam period. In about 36 hours from now is my Electromagnetism final. And then in about 40 hours from now my final paper for my Science, Culture and Society module is due.

For the latter, I'm writing a paper on the romantic nature of the Manhattan Project, and it's something that rings quite closely to the heart. It's affecting me somewhat and well, I'm getting kinda fascinated and distressed about the whole thing. Walked past the monument commemorating Enrico Fermi's successful nuclear chain reaction in the 1940s today and stopped to consider my carreer in Physics for a short while.

I'm getting quite affected; do want to visit Ground Zero in Hiroshima and the museums that documented the destruction.

Oh well... back to work.

wyng

The ebay fiasco continued

2006-05-31T17:27:00.000-05:00

Weather Forecast: 23 degrees C

This eBay noob would like to thank all for your advice. I have come to realise stuff, and for the education and entertainment of my readers, am going to post this scam here.

So here's the first email I've received:
______________________________________________________
Message from eBay Member samibagpwla

Hello ,
I saw you bid of Acer Ferrari 4005 WLMi 4005WLMIi AMD Turion ML37 Laptop Item number: 6885670708. I have contact you because i have 3 brands for sell the same as the one that you bid.The price for one is US $800.00. If you are interested please contact me and tell me how many products do you want to buy.i want you to know that i do affairs only trough eBay perfectly legal.I'll wait for your response. and i'm sorry if i disturbed you.
Thank you very much !
______________________________________________________

Notice the really bad English. I did an username search on samibagwla and found that this user resides in Singapore. Ok fine. So maybe not all Singaporeans have fantastic English.

I liased with him and all and eventually got an email, supposedly from Ebay. This is the gist of the email:
______________________________________________________
Transaction Details:

Within 2 business days, the seller must ship the units to your address. Then you will receive all shipping details and you must proceed with the payment. This seller prefers WesternUnion. Pay for the transfer with cash at a local Western Union agent. Click here to locate the agents in your area.

• Payment must be sent by Western Union Wire Transfer to:

Name : David Loger
Address : 67 Vyner Street
City : London
Zip/code : EC3R 4NE
Country : United Kingdom

• Once the payment was sent, contact the seller with the following informations:

1. 10 digit Money Transfer Control Number (MTCN#);
2. Exact sender's name on file with WesternUnion;
3. Your street address on file with WesternUnion;
4. City and country where you sent the money from;
5. Amount sent
____________________________________________________

OK... Western Union. Hmmmm. I contacted friend Z (who resides in England) to help me check for the validity of the address, as my initial attempts at verifying the postal code online failed. And yes! Royal Mail doesn't recognize the code. It's bunk. The Vyner Street address is in the EC2 region; which is also weird which means this seller resides in Central London. (Near the Tower of London). And also, for someone who lives in central London, this guy has mighty bad English.

I emailed him to enquire about this. This is the reply.

_____________________________________________________
My address is perfect valid...Now please send me the money to Western Union and send me the all information of the transfer...After that in maximum 12-24 hours you will recive the unit at your door...I wait your e-mail as soon.

Thnaks and God Bless you !

David
______________________________________________________

Again, bad English. But I went ahead and made the transfer anyway, thinking I could withhold the information from him, and decide later. This is how Western Union works:

One side makes a cash transfer, either from debit or cash. He gets the 10 digit transfer code. He gives it to the other side.
The other side matches the code, name of person transferring the cash, mutual addresses. Other side gets the money.

So there's pretty much NO WAY you can track this guy down. A bogus address works (as can be seen) and Western Union takes no responsibility in securing this transfer (as opposed to Paypal). Sketchy stuff.

I made the transfer online BUT the website had issues. So it didn't go though. BUT Citibank authorized a debit for USD 871 dollars. So I have 871 USD dollars floating in limbo. Called WU to issue a statement of reversal, and it's being processed; I pray to whatever forces might be that WU values their customer support and I'll get my money back ASAP.

Anyhow, back to 'David Loger'. I emailed him my concerns and my want to terminate this transaction. Here's his reply:
____________________________________________________

Dear Sir ,

I contact UPS and your unit is in your City...Please understand me ... This is my REAL post code... PLEASE UNDERSTAND.....send the money to WU on my name and send me the all information of the transfer and in maximum 12-24 hours you will recive the package at your door.

Thanks and God Bless you!
David
____________________________________________________

Advice to would be Ebay sellers/buyers/scammers: bad english doesn't work for you. It seriously takes away credibility, especially if you claim to live in London.

So this guy apparently shipped the unit immediately even before I paid(not exactly standard eBay protocol); and the unit apparently arrived in Chicago in less than 24 hours (good job UPS!) and now is trying to appeal to my sense of human empathy. I have to admit, it almost worked; which is why I posted a query to your readers below.

I demanded the UPS tracking number from him: my email:

____________________________________________________

David; we're at an impasse here.
I'm not going to send you the money; as WU charges a hefty sum of money *USD 71* to wire it to London. And why can't you give me the tracking number if the unit is theoretically *in* Chicago??

Your address is bogus and this is not a comfortable transaction for me. So unless you give me the tracking number to confirm the delivery, I'm not going to wire the money, no.

So here's the deal again: I need the tracking number. No tracking number = no money.
Again, I apologise for all this, but I'm taking steps to ensure my own protection in this transaction.
Wei
____________________________________________________

His reply:
____________________________________________________
You understand me...I don't have the tracking number..This is at eBay...After you send the all information of the transfer to ebay they reply you with the tracking number...This is the rule from ebay...The shipping taxes (71$) from Western Union are included in the price...Please let me know..

Thanks and God Bless you !

David
____________________________________________________

This is it. Tooooo sketchy for my liking. Checked eBay safe buying policies and I found this quote:

Not permitted on eBay.com: Sellers may not solicit buyers to mail cash. Sellers may not ask buyers to send cash through instant cash transfer services (non-bank, point-to-point cash transfers) such as Western Union or Moneygram. Sellers may not ask buyers to pay with Stormpay. Finally, sellers may not request payment through online payment methods not specifically permitted in this policy

So yes. I've been scammed. And damn that. Reported this user to eBay and emailed him about it.

That's the end of the fiasco; moral of the story: DON'T DO TRANSACTIONS INVOLVING POINT TO POINT CASH TRANSFERS!! Also, what all the commentors posted below (and a few friends whom I've liased with online) said is EXTREMELY true: if it's too good to be true, it IS.

Now just pray that Western Union gives me back my USD 871.

wyng

Question...

2006-05-30T12:35:00.000-05:00

Weather forecast: 30 degrees C (!!!!)

Ok so... I'm purchasing this new laptop on ebay; place a bid and lost.

BUT...

I've been contacted by new sellers, each with an initial quote lower than the one before! This amazes me, and I'm not sure how much I want to trust these people:

Seller 1: No ratings in his account. Offered 800USD for a unit retail priced at 1988 USD; claimed that unit is still wrapped and untouched. Set up the transaction and all; when he emailed me his address info, the address seemed to be mismatched. Also corresponded with VERY bad english.

Seller 2: Contacted me on e-bay; and claimed that he/she is willing to sell his unit for 600USD (!!). Emailed him asking why that low price.

Any advice/suggestions?

wyng

A Story

2006-05-23T18:50:00.000-05:00

Weather Forecast: 18 degrees C

Here's an update; and here's something I found online which well, is interesting. It alludes to something pretty clearly but I'll let the dear reader decide what it alludes to :P

Here's the story:

A long time ago, there was a wise and responsible king who watched over a beautiful land. In his court there were many servants, but he especially favored two.

One day, he called his two faithful servants and asked them to go out into the countryside for one year and do anything and everything they could to improve the kingdom. The two servants agreed and set out on their journey. However, they didn't know that the king secretly sent out spies to watch what they did.

The first servant went out into the countryside and began to build buildings that were dedicated to the king and praising him. He built many of these buildings and spent almost all his time in them, praising the king and pledging him his allegiance.

The second servant, however, went out into the countryside and went to work immediately. When there was broken fence, he fixed it. When a family's house was damaged, he helped them repair it. When the roads in a local town were broken and ugly, he set to work repairing them. He spent his time working to improve life for everyone.

Finally, the year was up, and the two servants returned to the castle. The spies went ahead of them and told the king what each servant had done. When the servants entered the king's throne room, he was ready for them.

To the first servant he said "Welcome back, good and faithful servant. Please tell me what you did to improve our fair land."

"Well my king, I built buildings to honor you and to glorify you!"

"Very well. How many people did you help? Did you volunteer to help those less fortunate then you?"

"Well…ehm…uh…no, I'm afraid not."

"Oh dear. You mean all you did was sit around praising me all day? You didn't go out and help others?"

"Uhh…"

"Well…we'll talk later. Now, my second servant, what did you do with your year to improve our fair land?"

"I mended fences, fixed roads, helped people improve their farm fields, I taught six people how to read, I helped one young woman develop her skill with sewing, and I helped fix some of the roads in our kingdom."

The king's face lit up. "Excellent work my loyal servant! You have helped make our land better and more pleasant! As a reward, you get a one month vacation to wherever you desire!"

Which servant are you?

soundtracking

2006-05-01T19:11:00.000-05:00

Weather Forecast: 15 degrees C

This is a quick notice about a new project of mine called soundtracking.. check it out!

http://soundtracking.typepad.com

Comments, questions welcomed.

wyng

A brief respite

2006-04-27T21:02:00.000-05:00

I'm taking a break from my studying for tomorrow's midterm. So an update for people who visit this place. Undergoing my hell week which involve(d):

Tuesday: Essay due
Wednesday: 2 problem sets due
Thursday: Lab report due and Midterm #1
Friday: Midterm #2
*weekend* (inhale....)
Monday: Problem set due and Midterm #3

Pray for me... well at point of writing half of that is gone. But I'm deeply tired. And I bet the share prices of Starbucks jumped a few points due to my patronage.

Ok maybe I'm exaggerating the last bit...

Back to the toil....

wyng

The emptiness

2006-04-18T21:54:00.000-05:00

Weatherforecast: 18 degrees C

Yes I'm making this blog what it is again. An outlet....

Someone I dated asked me why I even keep a blog - I view this little device in this same way as I do the little encoded messages they beam into outerspace in attempts to search for extraterrestrial intelligence. I'll just write here, and whoever cares enough to read it... will do so.

I know it sounds dramatic. I know it's silly in someways but well..

I'm reminded of Elaine Vassal in Ally Mcbeal. When asked 'how do you stay so happy?' She replied:

'Happy's easy. When I see people who are happy, I look at the world through their eyes, and I become happy. But lonely... lonely's hard. But happy's easy.'

Beauty World ended. The high passed. The experience, good and bad and all. And well.. I guess I'm a little heartbroken.

I miss R. But I know that I have to move on. For unlike the little beam of emotions I send into cyberspace, I know the little beam of hope that waits for R will be ignored.

Overdramatic? Perhaps... but for those who care enough to visit this regularly, I thank you, and beg you to indulge me.

Life reverts back....

wyng

Chachacha...

2006-04-17T10:54:00.000-05:00

Weather forecast: 18 degrees C

Beauty World happened on april 15th, and it went. And whoa; the show was well received, a sold out (and very ticklish) crowd (much to the relief of a a good friend and our ticketing manager X), tonnes of compliments/flattery from the audience, and of course, beautiful skin and eye lashes.

Tonnes and heaploads of thanks to all my singing cast/ chorus members, and crew etc. and also people who had to put up with my occasional crankiness during my disturbed moments. You guys are amazing and are amongst the most dedicated groups of people I have worked with. For that I am immensely thankful and grateful.

'Tai xia shi nian gong, Tai shang wu fen zhong' (Mandarin saying, literally translated: below the stage is 10 years of work, on the stage is just five minutes) As much as the final show was amazing, the process itself was something that mattered a lot to me; made new close friends, got to know a lot more people very well, and even felt the little flutter of love and hurt.

'Living an experience, a particular fate, is accepting it fully... It is not a matter of explaining and solving, but of experiencing and describing.'

I did have heaploads of fun. And I thank everyone for it.

"DANCE!"

wyng

We all need...

2006-04-07T01:53:00.000-05:00

From The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera (truncated)

We all need someone to look at us. We can be divided into four categories according to the kind of look we wish to live under.

The first category longs for the look of an infinite number of anonymous eyes, in other words, for the look of the public...

The second category is made up of people who have a vital need to be looked by many known eyes. They are the tireless hosts of cocktail parties and dinners. They are happier than the people in the first category, who, when they loose their public, have the feeling that the lights have gone out in the room of their lives. This happens to nearly all of them sooner or later. People in the second category, on the other hand, can come up with the eyes they need.

Then there is the third category, the category of people who need to be constantly before the eyes of the person they love. Their situation is as dangerous as the situation of people in the first category. One day the eyes of their beloved will close, and the room will go dark. Tereza and Tomas belong in the third category.

And finally there is the fourth category, the rarest, the category of people who live in the imaginary eyes of those who are not present. They are the dreamers... Tomas's son belongs in the same category. Let me call him Simon. (He will be glad to have a biblical name, like his father's.) The eyes he longed for were Tomas's. As a result of his embroilment in the petition campaign, he was expelled from the university. The girl he had been going out with was the niece of a village priest. He married her, became a tractor driver on a collective farm, a praticing Catholic, and a father. When he learned that Tomas too, was living in the country, he was thrilled: fate had made their lives symmetrical! This encouraged him to write Tomas a letter. He did not ask him to write back. He only wanted him to focus his eyes on his life.

An update

2006-04-06T16:46:00.000-05:00

Weather Forecase: 15 degrees C

Spring is here and hooray. Just thought I'd update my visitors here on my little status:

Music:
I've been listening to the Corrs album 'Talk on Corners' which I found on a corner of my hard drive. Uploaded it to me ipod and yeah. Reminds you of the good ol days in the late 90s.

Isn't that scary? In like another year or so you can really talk about the 90s like they talk about the 70s and the 80s. The 90s.. so much of my life was spent there...

This Corrs phase really started when I visited my friend WR in Ithaca and we listened to 'So Young' while conversing in like the middle of the night. It was aptly nostalgic and in a lot of ways, ironic.Oh well.

Book:
Reaad and re-reading 'the Unbearable Lightness of Being'. That is SUCH an amazing book... it's brilliant. And it speaks out in so many different ways.. will excerpt some of it here soon.

School:
I've dropped my graduate music class for the simple reason that it's too much work. The sheer amounts of readings and music we have to analyse, and then the online discussions. That's crazy stuff. So three classes for me in Spring, with the hope that my social life will improve... and hopefully so would my..

Love life:
R is becoming 'confused' about what R wants. I guess this is eventually what you ultimately expect from dating younger people, but oh well. Makes me sad. We do not see each other as much now and all of a sudden R seems to have intimacy issues. The relationship looks like it's going downhill, from such an amazing start. The best month of my life... I guess it's too good to be true.

May be this is just a reality check I guess, maybe I'm taking people for granted. Or something. Oh well. I hope it picks up, cause it makes me sad.

wyng

Disgust

2006-03-30T14:38:00.000-06:00

Weather forecast: 19 degrees C

WARNING: this is a rant.
Sitting at the conference center now waiting to print something and am filled with immense disdain with the women around me, hogging the bloody terminals.

Woman 1: white lady who seem to take aeons typing out her emails with one-finger typing technique, clearly in no dire need of the printer but printing randomly anyway.

Woman 2: black girl who's intent on printing out EVERY single e-reserve article on the library there is. As of writing, she is making her way to the paper cabinet for the third time.

Woman 3: indain girl who is staring at maps and random party invitations. Printing the random map and party invitation.

Blast them all.

wyng

Brimstone and Fire

2006-03-14T11:41:00.000-06:00

Weather forecast: 5 degrees C; windy

The last cold front is going to hit the windy city (I hope), and then it'll be warm (yay).

Writing this in the midst of my personal hell: Electromagnetics final in like, 7 hours and then Mechanics final in well, 23 hours.

Pray for me.

Meanwhile I've developed an attraction to romantic French music to counteract the pro-germanic-ness that is my Schenker class.

humming along....

wyng

And more amazing poetry

2006-03-13T13:37:00.000-06:00

"
I will hand out a sheet of vector derivatives
in 3 coordinate systems,
copied from cover of Wangsness.
No need to write thes on your page of data.
"

Poetry

2006-02-26T19:53:00.000-06:00

Today I received this from my Electromagneticism Prof. (an amazing one, btw) and it's woooo poetic. So here it is:

Final Exam Date

Hello

After considering all options

the final exam will be

Tuesday Mar 4 at 6:30 PM

Plenty of time to review

and no scheduled exams in eve

Week 9 =)

2006-02-26T07:25:00.000-06:00

Weather Forecast: -8 degrees C

Yesterday I went to watch 'The Padlock' and 'Dido and Aeneas' at the Chicago Opera Theater (http://www.chicagooperatheater.org) and enjoyed it tremendously. It was good fun, and although the interpretation of Purcell's 'Dido and Aeneas' was a modern one, it was artistically done and the treatment of the chorus was in my opinion, superb.

Then me and R went to Benningans (My first time at the American diner) where we hung out and chatted. I've come to be really fond of R and R's company... :P You could go infer what all that was suppose to mean your self ;-)

But all that being said, I'm grateful. I've not felt such emotions for quite awhile, especially with someone as thoughtful and amazing as R. Feelings hit you when you least expect it, and I could finally say that I am at last spending quality time with someone, whom I believe, genuinely cares about me and is fond of me.

Alright the mush will stop now

:)
wyng

Lagrangians and Cha-cha

2006-01-26T09:12:00.000-06:00

Weather forecast: -2 degrees C

It's really sunny today which is really nice. The temperature though is kinda on a chilly side.

BUT this morning I heard on radio that the lowest temperature recorded in Chicago was -32F. That's crazy. That's like -50 C or something. And THEN wind chill brought it down to -93F. That's on 1985 January 20th.

Thank goodness for global warming.

Life has been ok.. too buried in work to do anything else; this week has been slightly more relaxed which is nice; but next two weeks are midterm weeks - kinda like the calm before the freaking out.

Oh well.

wyng

Something I can soooo empathise with

2006-01-23T21:56:00.000-06:00

Uniquely Singapore....

2006-01-17T09:00:00.000-06:00

Jan 17, 2006
S'pore to cane, jail violent IMF protesters

SINGAPORE - Violent protesters at the World Bank and International Monetary Fund's annual meetings here in September will be caned and imprisoned, Home Affairs Minister Wong Kan Seng warned.

Home Affairs Minister Wong Kan Seng said that the police would not hesitate to investigate and prosecute any breach of Singapore laws.

He said the government will allow civil society organisations (CSOs) accredited with the World Bank and IMF to carry on with their planned activities, but they must abide by Singapore's laws on public gatherings.

'As host for the 2006 annual meetings, Singapore intends to follow this tradition of constructive engagement with accredited CSOs and provide the necessary framework and support for this process,' Mr Wong said in a statement to Parliament on Tuesday.

The accredited CSOs would still need to abide by Singapore's laws which require foreign or local organisers of public assemblies to apply for a police permit, he said.

Violent protesters at the World Bank and IMF annual meetings here in September will be severely punished, but law-abiding groups will be tolerated.
'In evaluating such applications, the police would consider the potential impact on law and order as well as the suitability of the proposed location,' said Mr Wong.

He warned the police 'would not hesitate to investigate and prosecute any breach of our laws', particularly persons or groups who resort to vandalism, arson or other acts of violence.

Mr Wong said the government would impose 'severe punishment, including caning and imprisonment' on violators. Under the law, any public protest of at least five people without a police permit is deemed illegal.

He said the government will implement 'comprehensive measures' to deal with violent protesters.

'We will step up security at sites hosting the 2006 annual meeting events and at hotels housing the delegates. Police officers will be deployed at such locations to respond swiftly to deal with violent protestors and restore law and order,' he said.

The police have also conducted study trips to conferences around the world to learn from other forces and conference hosts about dealing with protests, he said.

About 16,000 delegates from more than 180 countries, including heads of governments, finance chiefs, central bankers and chief executives of leading corporations, are expected to attend the meetings and related events. -- AFP

The belated new year post

2006-01-10T21:24:00.000-06:00

Weather Forecast: 3 degrees C

It's amazingly warm for Chicago at this time of the year, and now I've said it, tomorrow it's probably going to plunge to negative 30 with a blizzard to boot.

Anyhow, this is the belated new year post; here's wishing everyone an excellent Oh-six ahead and lots of fun and love.

I'm going to devote this little post to reminiscence and nostalgia (",) if you read something here you fondly (or not so fondly remember), do leave a comment on your thoughts and stuff! And if you feel I've left out something, do add it via a comment as well.

So here goes, in no order of preference

1. Playing 'MtG' at the Bubble Tea Shop at Wisma Atria... those were the days! Oh gosh, I miss that shop so much; so much of Secondary school life was spent there, all the memories and laughter and lameness. sigh.

2. The pigging out at Chomp Chomp food centre. Oil and grease and sweat and good local Singaporean fare = life.

3. The prata store near my house. The late night conversations about what to do with our lives and where we would be after we graduate from Junior College and Secondary School. The little quaint alley which sort of redefines 'al fresco' dining.

4. LAN gaming. Not too much comment on this one.

5. The chorale post rehearsal pigging out/bitching at the Ghim Moh food centre. For that matter, food at the Ghim Moh food centre in general.

6. The days of RJ chorale. Seriously, the politiking, the music, the caroling, bad and good performances, the wackiness, everything about RJ chorale. So much of it is to be missed.

7. Enlistment day and the insane number of emotions I'm put through, and my friend R who accompanied me on that fateful bus and ferry ride to the dreaded island; my 'last supper' at the Long Beach Seafood Restaurant, and my 2 very good friends who were with me - MC and K.

8. My job at the Headquarters of BMTC. You guys there were amazing people and really supportive. Even though we're not in contact (and I doubt anyone of you actually know about the existence of this blog), I miss you guys.

9. The recourse 'G' (Gryphon) company. That was just plain wacky. Ditto above.

10. The insane MDC days! C - my alcoholic boss, I miss you immensely and it was a good two years. As well as the 'fantastic 7' ;) You guys know who you are, all the bailing, the shows, the antics, the laughter and sweat and tears. And let's not forget the music and applause.

11. The post ORD euphoria and ORD day, something that every male sane Singaporean looks forward to since he's born. And when it arrives, takes it for granted.

I'm going to stop at 11 for now. More to come at spurts later; again if you feel like adding anything, you're more than welcomed!

Feeling immense nostalgia now
wyng

X'mas Greetings from Great Britain

2005-12-24T06:57:00.000-06:00

Weather Forecast: 8 degrees C

This is EXCELLENT weather; it's amazing... walked around downtown Birmingham in just jeans, T-shirt and jacket yesterday and enjoyed the freedom from sweaters, scarfs, earmuffs, gloves, and thermal pants.

So.... my trip into Birmingham from Chicago turned out pretty well! Flight wasn't too bad - when you are used to life hazardous 24 hour plane trips, an 8 hour plane trip looked like it would be something I could handle. Still... it wasn't bad but it was still painful. You forget how much you hateflying till you are actually on that blasted plane, cramped and claustrophobic.

*shrugs*

Waltzed through immigration (which is amazing, considering my immigration disasters at the US airports), and then made my way down to the tube, which I was impressed by, even though the Londoners hate it. Alright, granted the 'planned strikes' are annoying (there's one planned on the day I leave for Chicago), but it's clean. And fast. And no sudden stops or announcements that the train is not going to move for like the next 10 minutes.

You tend to forget that the rest of the world (especially Europe) takes their public transportation very seriously.

So spent the eve of Christmas eve shopping; got myself the cuffed white shirt I needed (finally) and walked around, went to a Frankfurt Christmas fair and got some Grog and Bratwurst. All in all was fun! Today: more downtown, maybe I'll just wander off to the surrounding areas (architecture in Bham, unfortunately, is attrocious outside of the main retail areas). Then a church choir thing.

Merry Christmas everyone

wyng

Chronological Update

2005-12-19T19:10:00.000-06:00

Weather Forecast: -20 degrees C

Woooo

Ok so haven't updated this thing for my regular visitors (again, leave a note and say hi! So I know who haunts this spot, aside from myself)... so here goes. Tonnes have happened.

1. Exams ended. Woooo. This was 2 weeks ago.

2. I booked a flight to London. Woooo to that as well. Will be in Britain for a grand total of 10 days: Birmingham from 21-25th; London from 26th to 31st. Will be spending New Years and New Years Eve in Chicago. Because I want to.

3. A couple couple of weeks ago (i.e. ~4 wks ago), Citibank called me with regards to a scam/fraud thing with my account. Checked my statements and looks good. Then...

One good Wednesday when in lieu of preparation for my trip to London, I logged onto my internet banking account and lo and behold. WLI Shopper discount deducted 9 bucks from me. I tracked it down and they have been deducting 9 bucks from me since May.

That's 72 USD.

So I called to dispute that; adware internet scamming sucks. So Citibank cancelled my debit card and I had to hang around for them to UPS a new card to me.

4. 2 days after I have my new card, I went out to Lincoln Park with 2 friends YH and SA and had loads of fun. Went to this 'Bourgeois Pig Cafe'; was good. Dinner at Belmont was good also. Got liquor and was planning to drink in my room, which is newly revamped and refurnished. It's pretty slick if I say so myself, view and all.

5. On our way back, I dropped my wallet on the Red Line to Dan Ryan/95th. Chances of me getting it back = chances of me winning the nobel prize right now.

:'( I have a bit of cash in it; around 70 USD total, and I miss my Mandarina Duck wallet that I got from Venice immensely. Have daydreams about it sitting in a pile of grimy snow and I feel sad. The poor thing...

6. Sooo... my debit card had to be cancelled again. (Grand total of 1 day of use) And this implies the following:

MDI cancelled the internet service from my room because they couldn't make a transaction with my account. Thus I'm using the internet from the conference center.

My hotel bookings in London is cancelled for the same reasons. Stupid bimbo called me in the morning to be like 'Oh no we are not expecting you... no, you cannot give us another number tomorrow. Fuck her.

I have to anticipate my receiving of the card on Tuesday; and I'm flying out Wednesday morning. I really hope UPS and Citibank is as efficient as they advertise themselves to be. To give them credit, I have been very impressed with Citibank as far as my banking concerns go; haven't had much experience with UPS.

Pray for me.

7. Weather in Chicago really sucks now. I really hope my trip to the British Isles will be a good one :( Way too much bad luck happening around here.

Oh well. That's the 2 word answer to everything. You should try it.

wyng

Petty Complaints

2005-12-08T23:21:00.000-06:00

Weather forecast: -4 degrees C; feels like -9 degrees C

There was a time when I was like 'man I have never seen snow in my life.'

The first time I saw snow, it quickly became overrated.

Sure it's pretty. It's white. It might even be fluffy.

But it's cold. And wet. And it sucks.

So...

1. I lost my ear muffs; left them in a bus. Goddamnit. I have lost like 200 + USD worth of earmuffs, gloves, scarfs to public transportation. AND it appears that I'm not the only one too. At least 4 other people I know complain about the same thing. CTA (Chicago Transit Authority) must make billions from sales of 2nd hand stuff.

2. Snow in your ear because of no ear muffs sucks. A lot. I also happen to have loose my cap (my beloved red addidas cap that survived the canoeing expedition in OBS with me; despite capsizing a couple of times and almost being stranded in the middle of the sea). So snow in hair and eyes is bad also.

3. Snow in shoe is bad. For some obscure reason I chose to wear my leather shoes today, which were kinda loose. So naturally the snow got in and got to know my socks a bit too well. Oh well.

At least when you bother about petty complaints, it's a good thing. Somewhat. Means that you don't have something huge to worry about.

Then again that theory is proven wrong as I have my math (the class from Hell) final exam tomorrow. And honestly, I am REALLY burnt out.

Eh. Heater just went 'clik' 'roar'. Whenever my room heater goes on, it feels like my room is taking off into the stratosphere. Too bad that doesn't actually happen.

wyng

Sunday morning attempt at poetry

2005-12-04T10:35:00.000-06:00

The submission, the giving up, the
falling into
the deep dark abyss of
emotions, turmoil, turmulus and
complicated.

Emotions that churn can only produce
love.

Someday my prince will come.

Halftone.org

2005-12-03T10:38:00.000-06:00

I stumbled across a picture featured on this website on 'alwaysintransit' and cliked on the link to the photoblog and am immediately swept away. Amazing stuff: I highly recommend checking it out.

Here's the picture; link's on the side bar.

And another post that hasn't occurred in ages

2005-12-03T10:22:00.000-06:00

Weather forecast: -1 degrees C

Lately I couldn't even bother to check up the weather; it's just cold. And below zero. So there.

So the quarter's coming to an end and as always, there is always a time for evaluation. This quarter was surprisingly (well, maybe not) eventful and dramatic. A bit too dramatic.

Oh well. That's the standard reply to like everything. If you're checking in lately - that's my entire life. Summarized: oh well.

Oh well. Not feeling extremely articulate but wanted to take some responsibility with respect to this blog and thus this post. And whatever.

wyng

Thanksgiving

2005-11-24T19:00:00.000-06:00

Weather Forecast: I didn't check, and regretted it the moment i stepped out of my apartment.

It's cold.

Today is thanksgiving, so a happy thanksgiving to all those out there who celebrate this holiday. For those who don't, happy thursday.

Spent much of today in a semi-conscious state, and caught up on some readings. It is real nice to relax and not worry too much about school and nonsense and all.

Spent much of today sitting in front of my window staring at the city and the lake.

Overall it's been a pretty good day methinks.

wyng

Stuff I'm doing

2005-11-21T20:03:00.000-06:00

Weather forecast: 8 degrees C

It's suppose to snow tomorrow. Ugh.

What am I doing now? I'm staring out at the city from the 37th floor apartment, sipping a glass of water, reading a short story book my friend Nsh got me for me birthday and listening to Diana Krall.

And am reminded of what 'living' is about =)

wyng

Alcohol mornings

2005-11-13T08:37:00.000-06:00

Weather Forecast: 14 degrees C

Chicago's weather right there: never able to make up his/her/their minds and be stable and predictable.

On second thoughts maybe I'll call 'it' a 'her'.
On third thought maybe a 'his'.

Whatever.

Yesterday watched a movie 'Bee Season' with N - it got pretty savage reviews but I did enjoy it! It was appealing to the eye and immensely engaging, and the suspense that something's going to fall apart is amazing. And the soundtrack is amazing as well.

Woke up today with the scene where Eliza spells 'origami' in my head. Amazing scene right there.

Went back to the official site: http://www2.foxsearchlight.com/beeseason in attempt to 're-live' the movie, but of course it's different and as N puts it, 'experiences and perspectives changes the actual act of perception'.

It's an amazing movie that resonates with me, I've realised after a morning of thought.

That's the lightness of being right there.

wyng

Ideas on Compassion

2005-11-10T08:30:00.000-06:00

Weather Forecast: 4 degrees C, feels like 1

There goes the amazing weather

A friend from Singapore posted a story which I really liked - though I thought about it and came to different conclusions, mostly based on what we've discussed here. Spoke to him this morning with regards to this, and decided to write what we've discussed here.

Here's the URL (cut and paste):
http://www.livejournal.com/~baby_panpan/127522.html

Here's its conclusion:
Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled.

Here's me response:
There seems to be something extremely 'logical' and 'rational' about these proverbs that govern things like feelings and emotions. The latter of which are kinda irrational; they come unbiddened, and make their toll known - feelings of love, hatred, anger, jealousy, etc.

Such proverbs thus provide 'formulas' that theoretically gives you gain - kindness begets kindness, shared happiness is doubled. But to me, the truth is that emotions are uncontrollable - they come unbiddened. The truth is we are bound to our emotions and feelings, things that cause us confusion and suffering.

The transcience of happiness and pleasure is what we all love - yet the unbiddened feelings of suffering forms an undercurrent behind life. The cycle of birth and death, of routine, of getting through the week, of sleeping and waking. These are what makes us humans - emotions, feelings, and the undercurrent of suffering.

The story to me thus advocates compassion - in the world of pain, much can be done to ease pain, and to make known that the entire humankind is in it together. Much can be done, to let the person beside you know that you acknowledge his/her suffering as much as your own, and in so doing make the trials of life immensely more bearable.

wyng

The Look of Love

2005-11-07T18:49:00.000-06:00

Weather Forecast: 18 degrees C

That's again, amazing weather right there.

There have been some amazing responses to my blog recently - something which I am immensely appreciative of... thank you all.

It is immensely true that emotions are irrational - and so much of our lives is devoted to the masking of our feelings, developing that outer shell of moral interaction and appearance. It is also immensely true that there's no means to 'judge' emotions - but the character of a person is often defined not so much for his/her emotions, but his/her ability to control them and make judements with regards to his/her actions.

To 'the mentor': thank you so much for your silent support and posts... they have been thought provoking and extremely helpful. I PROMISE (and I know how hollow this sounds by now) to meet up for brunch or dinner or lunch or whatever sometime... I do miss speaking to you.

To 'Justin': thank you for being such an amazing 'flattie'; I have no idea how I would have survived the past few weeks if you weren't there (yes this is my soppy self)... you are loved and I appreciate your love immensely.

wyng

A call out to the unknown

2005-11-04T23:11:00.000-06:00

Ok so I know people visit this little world... it'll be nice if you guys left a note, especially if you are a long lost friend or someone I've not seen in awhile. And even if you are a friend I see every other day, or every minute... do leave a note and say hi! I don't bite, and at least I feel the love of people out there who care about the on goings in my life and mind.

Cheers and goodwill to all.

wyng

I lied

2005-11-04T22:50:00.000-06:00

Weather forecast: 21 degrees C

That's an amazing forecast right there.

'the mentor' who has been visiting my blog lately have been putting up amazing comments - of which I am going to respond to. It's really amazing and self-searching, so here goes.

Oh yeah, and tonight I might spend my ACTUAL last night in breck. So yeah.

So 'the mentor' said:
1) Are you spending more time with people you care about or are you spending more time with people who care about you? Which is better for you?

Which is better? How many times are we around people who we care about and show love, and not receive any love from them? The Chinese have a saying, which I was brought up on: zhu4 ren2 wei2 kuai4 le4 zhi1 ben3. Literally translated it means: 'the basis of happiness is the helping and caring of others'. Is it so? Lately I have been wondering about this and the ideas of reciprocal love - great relationships only work out when the love and care given is reciprocrated. Friendships, family, romantic relationships and what not.

Perhaps in the caring of others, we hope to touch someone, just a special few, who would also care for us, and make living so much more bearable. So am I spending more time with people who care for me or with people I care about? I would like to believe that it's both - though the past few weeks' events have led me to believe otherwise and to question my judgement.

2) Why are you here? Are you a random jumble of chemicals walking the earth or has a superior being put you here for a reason? If the latter, what is that reason?

Why am I here? Because quantum mechanically I am needed as an observer to determine the existence of the universe and everything around me. Because my non existence would imply that existence be meaningless to me, and thus not worthy of contemplation.

Sometimes I like to believe I'm an over-evolved simian that has complex emotions and thoughts and just leave it at that. Life seems so much simpler that way - except maybe the 'complex emotions and thoughts' create an inherent paradox. Ugh. Whatever.

3) Are the things absent from your life necessities or luxuries? Are they fleeting or lasting?

I would believe that they are necessities, but nothing that is absent in life is lasting. They are all fleeting. Love is fleeting. Relationships are fleeting. Life is fleeting. That's why we feel their absence. Things that are permanent and constant are not felt and taken for granted. Suffering and pain for example.

4) Is there something you could be doing for someone right now who really needs you?

I could: I could love and hug this someone, shower this someone with my attention and do anything that this someone would want me to do. And I could make this someone happy. But unfortunately, this someone doesn't exist.

wyng

Last night in Breck

2005-11-03T22:16:00.000-06:00

Tonight I spend the last night in Breck at least for this little move - out. It's kinda sad; I did enjoy several friends here and it did bring back memories. But life is about moving on and experiences; not about holding on.

So yeah; hopefully the midterms will turn out ok.

There's been a great feeling of resignation in me recently - I have no idea what's the source of it. Maybe it's a sign towards inner peace and satisfaction of the moment. Or maybe it's just the want to maybe be lifted out of this state of depression and pain.

If emotional pain could be killed by painkillers.

wyng

The Unbearable Lightness of Being

2005-11-03T08:41:00.000-06:00

Weather forecast: 14 degrees C

Yesterday night before I go to bed, my friend N started reading me poems. Sort of like 'bed-time poems'. That was nice... I realised that no one, like no one, has read me bed time stories before. Made me kinda fuzzy inside.

Spoke with W in the afternoon before going for my first therapy appointment, and I think we understand each other a bit better now. After my therapy appointment and school, as I'm walking back to Breck, the full force of Camus' philosophy hits me. And I actually felt happy. Well, happi-er. The beauty of experience and living.

It's sad and beautiful that everything we treasure - the friendships, the events, the romantic relationships, everything; is transient and light. And there's no 'twice' in the experiences of living - there's only 'once'.

I feel calm.

wyng

burds

2005-11-02T17:45:00.000-06:00

70th post

2005-10-31T19:43:00.000-06:00

Weather forecast: 13 degrees C Precipitation 60%

It rained. And it sucked. I got my fair share of exercise today jogging home in the rain with my back pack o books. From KPTC.

Oh home this week is Breck - which is on campus. So it's not that bad.

The stress level is going up. Already I can't take the workload of the day together with everything that's happening at the back of my head. Tomorrow: response due, - have to study for math midterm, physics midterm. And also math homework. Someone, just someone, tell me how Green functions and general functions work and I'll be SO much happier. This is

frustrating and stressful.

But oh well. 'When the sun sits high in the afternoon sky, there is always something to do... but from dusk till dawn, in the early morn, something happens to you.....'

wyng

Second week of midterm

2005-10-30T20:13:00.000-06:00

Weather Repot: 8 degrees C again.

Yesterday went for my friend N's play - was good. Then went to watch Sin City - was also good. Then went back, had shots, and then started bawling.

The feeling's bad - of loneliness and all and other things and oh well.

Spending a couple of days with friend N - whom I really love and get love from him. Of which I am eternally grateful. Went for dinner and already I feel better.

The need for fresh air and escape from madness.

wyng

Grief

2005-10-27T10:10:00.000-05:00

My friend WH from back home just lost his grandma and all of a sudden the memories of all the loved ones I've lost hit me.

Just a quick post dedicated to the memories:

My nanny, whom I only knew as 'Bedok Ah Ma', whom I grew up with for the first 6 years of my life - who gave me unconditional love and who passed away when I was too young to comprehend anything.

My first piano teacher - Ms Yong Pit May, you are still in my heart and am still the additional meaning for everything I do. I love you. So much. And I wish I was able to tell you and be there with you in your most trying days.

My Grandpa. Your absence is still felt and your family misses you sorely.

Peace be with all

wyng

Midterms and madness

2005-10-27T09:35:00.000-05:00

Weather Forecast: 6 degrees C feels like 2 degrees C

It's getting cold.

So there are developments: W is dating someone else now, and I'm going to see someone else as well. I hope that this will all turn out for the better.

The thing is: I'm looking at the way W's date is behaving and I'm worried for W; W's date has a creepy silent attitude that seems to not emanate human warmth at all. I have no idea how things are going out the way they are behaving - especially since W met W's date at a party - not exactly a 'trust-building' activity; especially after all that talk of 'love developing from a friendship'. At first I had thought it would be a one-time thing but W seems quite keen to develop it. But nonetheless, I pray that W knows what W is doing and not to mistake physical impulses for love. I also pray that W's date treats W well, and they'd be happy together.

I would talk to W about it, but that would be way awkward; plus W would think that I have reminiscent jealousies and I wouldn't know how W would take it. Infatuation and the need for partnership has an enormous effect on people and I don't think we would be able to converse rationally about such issues after all that drama. Why I would post this here then I would never know, but this has been a screaming outlet for me and all.

W is young and all; and so are we all in so many ways. Life then offers us the gruesome opportunity to grow up - so oh well. So much for that.

SO I'm going to the symphony this Friday, which is exciting because I'm going with P AND it's the first time (sad I know) I'm hearing the CSO AND it's playing the Hummel Trumpet concerto. THAT's a rare piece to be performed. The programme is: we're going to watch the concert and then hit a wine bar P reccomended and then move on from there. Should be fun and I do hope it works out.

Meanwhile is midterm madness and all.

wyng

Weather hits and runs

2005-10-24T20:55:00.000-05:00

Weather forecast: 8 degrees C

For the benefit of my emotional health I shall try to post a happy post.

We are redefined again and again every single day; every day we get new input, new experiences, new discoveries. Everyday we re-exist and am re-invented.

So what re-defined me today? The things I learned in school? The emotional turmoils that boil inside... only to make yourself worldlier and stronger? The suffering that serves to beat you into a veteran of life?

Everyday, a part of us dies and another is brought into existence - a continual process of re-incarnation. A self-process of elimination, an internal origin of species, the survival of the fittest.

Everyday, I change - sometimes more, sometimes less. Every night I hope that I have changed for the better, and am better equipped to take on the ever coming 'better day'.

wyng

Thoughts

2005-10-23T17:16:00.000-05:00

Weather forecast: 5 degrees C

1. How often do you get depressed? Once a month? Once a week? Everyday? Everytime you go to bed and it ticks 9?

2. It seems to me that I've not been a person that's free from the confines of emotion. To be truly happy and live in experience. Despite the fact that I have a quote which I strive to live up.

3.
Was I ever free
from the confines
of emotion?
I believe so,
I would like
to believe so.

The times of the past.
That does not exist anymore.

4. 'Do I still yearn for my virginity?' - Sappho

5. What is melancholy? A feedback loop of emotional destruction? Or a means to try to enjoy depression and suffering? Or just plain unattractive, self-pitying silliness?

6.
The leaves are
falling
outside.
Rustling.

7. What makes you tick? Food? Sex? Love? Fame? Glamour? Friends?

8. The neverending play of 4:33 which will exist as a soundtrack to your life. Existing irregardless of...

9. I miss things. Things that I miss.

wyng

Stuff and stuff

2005-10-21T22:14:00.000-05:00

This is the third post for today. But oh well.

Anyhow, for some reason, the topic of relations came up tonight and oh well... again and again I am reminded of this little 'overseas trip' as something temporary, something that removes me away from the reality that is rushing out to hit me for a good six years later.

What's worth it in life involves suffering, I guess in someways relations too. My dad used to always say that for any relationship to grow, fights have to ensue and bizzarre break-ups or what not occur. I have no idea what relevance that comment has on my life back home, but maybe it does. For some reason that thought just lingers in my mind.

It's kinda a depressing end to a Friday; oh well. The day's ending in 2 hours. I'll sleep over it and hopefully it'll be good. Roomates are already being obsessive compulsive about work and I'm like fucking around and doing nothing.

Today I ran 5 miles though. And did a good time on it as well. That's something to be happy about at least.

Oh well. Add your own cliche about tomorrow being a new and better day here.
We all strive towards that 'new and better day'; like life is this huge directional effort towards the hypothetical 'new and better day'.

wyng

Stuff

2005-10-21T14:25:00.000-05:00

Weekly Whining

2005-10-21T14:14:00.000-05:00

Weather Forecast: 14 degrees C

Downloaded songs from itunes. Cheesy ones. 'On a night like this' by Kylie Minogue and 'Funky Town' by Lips.

I am so so sooooo glad that it's Friday and am taking this weekend off. No crazy partying for me or crazy shopping trips. Am probably going for dinner with W tomorrow, which would be some good familiar fun. Am actually looking forward to it. Going to this place called 'The Hearty Boys Spot' up north. Go figure.

For some reason, it's that time of the quarter when (yes, the whining starts) you feel like you're doing shittily in all your classes. I thought of it and the same thing happens every quarter around the end of third week. So there.

Oh well. The weekend's here. That's all that matters for now.

wyng

Pa-para--parace-paracetemol

2005-10-20T00:04:00.000-05:00

Weather forecast: 8 degrees C

It's really weird when you fall ill (that's me now) and then read 'medical books'. This time round I had to read Hippocrates for me Greek class and the entries are like:

Young boy had sore throat after too much drinking and eating.

Day 1: Throat parched. Mild fever.
Day 2: Stools runny; thick urine dark yellow in color.
Day 3: Delirium
Day 4: Died

And then you go like 'Gods I'm at day 1.'

Man.

So yes I'm on Paracetemol and hopefully that works. It sucks to be sick in the middle of term because of... midterms! Doh. Man this sucks. And the part where your mouth is so dry it hurts when you wake up. That sucks too.

Today read stuff on people's blogs which were mostly depressing, or funny. And struck me that the solution to the suffering that is constant in life is comedy or humour. Violence is apparently the next in thing, though violent blogs are rare and far in between.

Your sentimental sucker signing out

wyng

copied stuff

2005-10-18T17:52:00.000-05:00

Weather Forecast: 23 degrees C

Lately I have been getting a lot of puzzled compliments with regards to 'Fragments of Sappho'; I would like to state that those fragments of poetry is BY SAPPHO; I selected them in that order cause at that time, it framed my state of mind.

I am though, very flattered that a lot of you had the opinion that I could come up with stuff like that.

Today I found more fragments of poetry that was good, and posted them here. Friend from Singapore sent me this via email as a post-lude to a 'hello' message, so here it is. I claim no originality for this.

I have a pen
My pen is blue
I have a friend
I stabbed her to death with my pen.

wyng

4rier Transformations

2005-10-17T19:21:00.000-05:00

Weather Forecast: 16 degrees C

It's a pretty good day actually.

Today I had a fun jazz class. Practicing helps. And I got a great new idea: jazz acapella improv. It is SO plausible I'm excited.

Nonetheless...

On the bus back home (for those who don't know... I live off campus now) a Malaysian girl said that her government who funded her studies and allowance for 4 years is now canceling her bond. Because

they ran out of jobs in the civil sector.

That is messed up!!!!@#$@#$@$@# ugh

wyng

And third week ends

2005-10-16T21:55:00.000-05:00

Weather forecast: 16 degrees C. Which is supposed to be nice but for some reason it was COLD when I went out.

The third week ends and it's insane. That's it. Gone. Fourth week draws near and then fifth week, and it's midterm and before you know it, fall quarter's over.

The wine and cheese party was an immense success and that was good :P Should do it again sometime.

Ugh workload beckons and the Sunday night atmosphere promotes goofing off.

wyng

Thursday morning

2005-10-13T09:24:00.000-05:00

Waether Report: 16 degrees C, with a high of 21 degrees C

That's pretty hot.

One of the worse things that can happen is when you wake up from you first 9 hour sleep in days, slightly gruffy about having to sleep so long to regain like mental strength. And then you walk into the kitchen to make yourself breakfast...

and in there is the most disgusting pile of dishes in the sink you can ever imagine.

That is not hot at all.

!@#%$^$#!@#$%!

wyng

And I'm back with tiredness

2005-10-12T22:59:00.000-05:00

Weather forecast: 15 degrees C

Quote of the day:
"a little ache only goes to show us that we can feel" - a friend

Today I am dead tired. So there. Like DEAD tired.

End of eloquence.

wyng

Word Verification

2005-10-12T08:23:00.000-05:00

Due to certain spam issues, comments now require word verification... it's a simple, painless step!

Do drop by and say 'hi' if you know me or not.

wyng

Fragments of Sappho

2005-10-11T17:10:00.000-05:00

Eros shook my
mind like a mountain wind falling on oak trees

I don't know what to do
Two states of mind in me

do I still yearn for my virginity?

Eros the melter of limbs (now again) stirs me -
Sweetbitter unmanageable creature who steals in

when all night long
it pulls them down

first Order DEs

2005-10-11T16:58:00.000-05:00

Weather Forecast: 15 degrees C, feels like 15 degrees C. Sky's overcast, kinda gloomy.

Recall the Dorian Gray escapades about life imitating art and sometimes it seems so true. That the surrounding environment could reflect your inner most states and ideas.

Today the topic of 'superpowers' came up and I'm asked what superpower I would love to possess. Those who know me well enough will know the answer: if I were to pick from existing superpowers, it'll be Magneto. Tonnes of times when I walked around alone I would imagine levitating cars and blasting open windows. Makes me happy. And think the wonders it'll do if you're caught in a jam.

If I would create one it would be the power to control air. It'll be like Magneto but cooler.

Currently I am in a state of emotional turmoil; pangs of jealousy hit me for no particular reason and no grip of rationality would take hold. I guess it's all about growing up, all this emotional ups and downs that comes with relationships and stuff that makes you a different person every year.

Guess I'm still trying to find myself, and the search is being externalised, being embodied in my search for someone, or something, or somewhere.

The bliss I would have if I would suddenly come in possesion of a super power.

wyng

Monday passes

2005-10-10T23:47:00.000-05:00

Weather Forecast: 14 degrees C

Not too bad actually.

Yes ok so I'm now making a point to update my blog EVERYDAY. Ok maybe that won't work out so well but at least 3 times a week. People complain to me that they don't know what's happening in my life; I appreciate my friend's concerns and I thank you for that but also, this end of the day writing might just keep me emotions and thoughts in check.

Today I'm just going to make a list of stuff that I daydreamed about.

1. Listened to a bossa nova song that ends with the line 'I would gladly die for a glimpse of sky', and am wondering how true that would be. Just a day, a day of like solitude and freedom to just fly amongst the blue. That would be bliss. I would be satisfied.

2. Stared at national geographic pictures and wondered if I would ever ever ever see such places in my life. Virgin lands, beautiful cloudscapes untainted by civilization. Perhaps I'm doomed to urban culture and concrete soundscapes.

3. Craved for a deep dish pizza, had one, and felt bad about it. Did like 90 crunches later. Still feeling bad about it now. Note to self, no binging on weekdays.

4. The power I would have if I win the Nobel Prize and grace the cover of 'Time Magazine'.

5. The bliss I would experience if I met someone I loved and would love me.

6. The awesomeness of it all if I could scat, improv on the piano and conduct a jazz band.

7. The person I would be if I stayed in Singapore for college.

8. The bliss I would experience if that thin layer of fat on my abs would just go away. (vain, I know)

9. Apply number 8 to my acne problem and f***ed up complexion.

10. How lunch would be fantastic. Though retrospectively it sucked. Whoever thought of stir frying pineapples with chicken cubes and calling it 'Hawaiin Chicken' should be shot

Hitting the sheets in 10.. 9...

wyng

Another attempt at poetry

2005-10-09T22:12:00.000-05:00

The lights
shine, yellow and in
grids. Marking the
squares. Marking the
infinite paths that reach
into the horizons where lurks
the fathomless night.

Ok an update, well finally

2005-10-09T21:46:00.000-05:00

Weather forecast: 11 degrees C, feels like 4 degrees

Yes it's windy.

Ok so here's an update, though I have no idea how many people have given up hope on waiting for one, and would probably have given up checking on this page anyway, but nonetheless it's a promised update, so here goes.

I'm back in Chicago, which is good, and am kinda depressed, which is bad. Why? I have no idea. It's one of those, how do you put it, gradual waves of emotion that hits you slowly, like the creeping of darkness over the twilight cityscape.

So I'm going to find out why. So here comes a little brainstorm.

1. It's sunday night. The most depressing time of the week.

2. I pretty much fooled around for the whole weekend and had too much fun, and now it's sunday night.

3. I am reminded of my lack of love life and what nots.

4. I am listening to depressing music. But that's probably some masochistic melancholic thing I do to revel in my self-depression. Maybe I should stop.

5. Maybe it's because I am such a ridiculously emotional and sensitive guy.

Oh whatever. The week beckons I guess and it's a new week and new beginning and what nots. Add your own favorite cliche with regards to new thingies that would probably be better.

wyng

Missing my past self

2005-08-30T21:37:00.000-05:00

Ugh

So like two days ago I went to the gym, and was happy and all and realised that my trainer forgot my appointment, and decided to do some weights alone.

And I went to the bench press. and 1st set was ugh

ok to cut the long story short; the stupid barbell fell on me.

And now I have a bruised and wounded forehead (left side). Big ugh.

Doctor said it would scar and hopefully it wouldn't be so bad.

Oh well :(

wyng

Back from Korea

2005-08-27T10:23:00.002-05:00

Weather Forecast: cloudy, with temperatures a high of 30 degrees C

I'm back from Korea; two weeks and I'm off for Chicago.

Went to this pretty nice japanese curry place to have dinner today with a couple of my old friends all the way from the days of Secondary 1 & 2. That is what almost 7 years ago. That's scary, the way you can look at your friends now and truly call them 'old friends'.

I'm getting old :( It's like quarter life crisis now.

Anyhow, felt this pang of nostalgia and longing when it struck me that my Singaporean 3 month fiasco is ending and it's back to Chicago. Started reminiscing with my friend K on the cab back about JC days. It's so... sad in a way.

Tonnes of things have changed and I'm glad that I still have my circle of friends to fall back on, to lighten up my mood and make everything seem better, be it friends of old, new, of Singapore or Chicago.

Just a little post to say that I'm grateful for you all and I'll miss the friends in Singapore when I fly off for a longer duration of time (next time I'll be back would probably be what... in 2 years?)

Ok the mushiness ends now.

wyng

My take on the NKF fiasco and repeated chain mails

2005-08-18T00:28:00.000-05:00

Ok this really isn't my take... it's more of something I've read and agree with but still.

Responding to the whole NKF issue because there are tonnes of people out there who are genuinely outraged at the lack of transparency and legal corruption involved. But the very same people with the Orwellian principles of doublethink refuse to look at the ruling party and their similarities with the NKF fiasco.

This is a ruling party with ministers that draw 1-2million USD a year. And Singaporeans, unfortunately, are left with peanuts.

I hope whoever is reading this take sometime to just read the attached article from the yahoogroups sg_review. And take this into serious consideration.

Comments are greatly appreciated

Cheers
wyng

WHAT IS THE REAL PROBLEM?

There are several recurrent issues here. Singapore is in this current mess because Lee's PAP Government has forgotten that not everything can be reduced to money. You cannot throw money at all your problems and expect it to magically disappear.

The material base that motivates Singapore's "leaders" is only too evident when the NKF's transit CEO (Gerald Ee) hinted that "SGD600,000/- may not be sufficient for the new replacement to take office"!!! Money is the only motivating factor and if they have elected a leader and a board who is motivated only by money, its only a natural and unavoidable result that they will end up with an organization which has forgotten its once noble purpose and replaced it with more materialistic pursuits.

Have they (Singapore) appointed a Wolf in sheep's clothing to guard their precious flock? For positions like these in charity organizations, THE CHIEF MOTIVATING FACTOR CANNOT BE MONEY! as they are not running an investment bank. The same applies senior public service positions and for ministerial positions. NOT EVERYTHING CAN BE REDUCED TO MONEY. But Lee's PAP Ministers have used this holistic approach to address any and all issues under the sun.

Lee and his ministers simply CANNOT RUN A COUNTRY THE SAME WAY THEY RUN A COMPANY. Why? Because a country comprises of flesh and blood and spirit. A company is merely a corporate vehicle that is often set-up for the sole purpose of reaping a monetary profit.

SINGAPORE AS A COUNTRY, IS NOT SINGAPORE INC!!!! And even if it is, its directors (and that means Lee and his million dollar cabinet) have to remain accountable to the shareholders (Singapore citizens). Singapore MINISTERS have to be transparent, and they are not especially as regards their salaries and the management of the country's reserves.

Consider this, the NKF was originally set up as a supposedly charitable organization. In form and function it appeared above board and reputable. But in actual practice it had a hidden agenda to siphon wealth from the public into state coffers. And what happens to all this money (all SGD200 million of it?) No body knows.

These same similarities in the NKF saga are reproduced on a grander scale in overall state administration in Singapore. Whether its the CPF, LTA, GLCs, Temasek etc they all relate to the the same basic issue. It goes back to the same bunch of corrupt leaders paying themselves and their cronies humongous rediculous salaries, approved and legitimized under a set of bogus laws that they legislated in the first place.

But even before this NKF scam, transparency issues have dogged Singapore's state administration for decades and repeated requests by the World Bank, IMF, FTA and other NGOs for greater accountability and transparency have basically fallen on deaf ears.

These are basic transparency issues which plaque management of public moneys by all state entities (whether its the CPF Board, GLCs, Temasek, LTA etc). There is massive deception on a grand scale and I suspect the latest NKF debacle only surfaced due to internal friction within Singapore's "inner-circle of elite politicians." Perhaps someone amongst Singapore's Ruling Elite wanted a bigger portion of the loot.

Think about it. Durai commenced his latest law suite on the confident assumption that it would be a "no contest" walk-over like his two previous suites. But whilst the Singapore sham courts had no problems finding in his favor in the 2 previous suites (which were taken against private individuals and a volunteer who correctly questioned his lavish spending), the latest suite was against another state bureaucracy. And it was inevitable that the sham court found in favor of the bigger devil. So even amongst the thieves there is a power struggle over who gets a bigger piece of the loot.

So this then is justice ala Singapore styled. Who you are and who you are connected with ultimately decides the outcome of the law suite. The material facts of the case (and legal premise) have little relevance in the kangaroo's court final assessment.

But by far the most troubling problem is that of Legitimized Corruption. You (Mellanie) have used the term "Legitimized Corruption" very accurately, but failed to elaborate on its true meaning and implications.

Legitimized Corruption means essentially that the corrupt act itself is made perfectly legal. That is why there is a possibility that the external audit on NKF may turn out nothing because Durai and his actions may have been all perfectly legitimate and authorized according to the internal constitution of the Board.

In a normal organization with bona fide controls in place, the Board would not have approved and allowed such unreasonable and lavish expenditures. However, in Singapore's setting where "anything goes" it is possible that the board were within their discretionary powers to authorize such lavish expenditures. Mind you these are expenditures which (by any ordinary definition) would have amounted to an immoral mis-management of public moneys for unauthorized applications. But if the internal rules of conduct of NKF allowed the Board to act in this manner, it would then be an authorized and legitimate act.

So even after the process of audit has concluded it is perfectly possible for the auditors to conclude that the use of donor funds for;
a) Durai's pay of SGD600,000 and his salary of SGD1.8 million;
b) All expenses and application of donor funds used for purchase of SGD990/- god
taps;
c) All expenses for first class air travel;
d) The levying of a 30% Admin Fee;
e) The hiring of personal drivers and limos.
All of the above are authorized and legitimate.

Anyway we all know that the so called "audit" of the NKF accounts is merely a publicity stunt to show case to the world that the current government and the new board is taking steps to remain accountable.

But does this make the above acts any more acceptable and morally correct. NO! Of cause not. An atrocity is still an atrocity even though it is legitimized. One clear example is prostitution in Singapore. It is legal and the fact that it is legal does not detract one iota from the fact that it is still immoral, depraved and inhuman.

Of cause there are critics who will argue that moral values are to subjective concepts and we cannot always use these imprecise measures to define what is right or wrong. And I concede that there is some truth in this as we live in a world coloured in grey.

However, there will always remain some acts which are so blatantly wrong that they remain morally objectionable and immoral by any standard and yardstick. And the NKF scam (as well as Singapore ministerial salaries) fall within this category. It is morally wrong by any measure and this is not a grey area at all.

This same logic applies on a larger scale as regards ministerial salaries and the process that is orchestrated to "approve" such unreasonable and lavish salaries (amounting to millions of dollars per minister).

Legitimized Corruption works much like Money Laundering, but is worse. In essence Legitimized Corruption is corruption which is made legal. These perpetrators attempt to do what drug cartels and money launderers do;- basically "launder" the money (or the dishonest act) and make the final product appear nice and clean.

But senior politicians differ from your average drug lord or mafia boss in one important respect;- these ministers are much more sophisticated. They know the system (and probably designed it) and know how to manupulate and tweak the system so that they can have access to the ill-gotten gains without getting their hands dirty. Next to them, Gordon Gecko and the God-Father look like novices and vestal virgins.

However make no mistake the underlying act itself remains wrong, dishonest and morally objectionable but is hidden under a cloak of legitimacy. Drug money (and money from dishonest trades) is still ill-gotten loot. Behind this elaborate sham are a host of corporate and state entities (GLCs, state owned entities and yes, charitable organisations) which are set-up to place a corporate veil between the real perpetrators and the morally objectionable and dishonest transaction.

The fact that it is perfectly legitimate does not itself make it MORALLY CORRECT. This is especially the case when you have a legislature that is totally removed (and remains out of touch) with the moral values and aspirations of the people it is supposed to serve and protect.

In fact, this kind of legitimized corruption is the worst possible kind as it means the corruption has infiltrated the most senior ranks of management (and the political leaders). Compared to this elaborate deceit, the more obvious corruption in Indonesia are crude by comparison and far easier to identify and correct as it is acknowledged that such objectionable acts itself are WRONG and are not endorsed by the country's laws.

How do you ask a cop to catch a thief when the cop himself is a thief?

Legitimized Corruption by its very nature is more sinister and difficult to identify. For instance, a government official who accepts bribes worth $1.6 million a year is guilty of corruption. But what happens if this same official or minister receives this money as part of his "LEGITIMATE" salary. In both cases the act itself is the same unconscionable and immoral act. But in the later case, there is no need for the official to hide his ill-gotten gains as it is formally endorsed by an equally corrupt legislature/parliament who has a hand in the ill gotten gains.

The definition of a Parasitic Leech is as follows: "leech: a follower who hangs around a host (without benefit to the host) in hope of gain or advantage"
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&safe=off&rls=RNWE,RNWE:2004-48,RNWE:en&oi=defmore&q=define:parasite

The kind of legitimized corruption already endorsed and prevalent in Singapore's state machinery is far worse. It is a cancerous malice which is more surreptitious and insidious. The festering rot is not immediately apparent to an external casual observer but is eating away the core of the its host. Left unchecked, such parasites will consume a once healthy body before discarding the empty shell and relocating to another unwary host.

Legitimized Corruption is also like cancer. It is a chronic ailment which rooted itself very deeply within the host (and the state machinery). Such a chronic ailment did not occur over night but took place over decades of accumulated unchecked accesses. Durai himself was in the NKF for over 30 years and it is no mere coincidence that Singapore has been under the same government (and people and family) for over 30 years.

This is precisely the reason why in the US and other bona fide democracies there is a mandatory change in administration every 4-8 years. A new administration brings forth a completely new government which will was away unchecked accesses and commence things tabula rasa.

But somehow in Singapore it appears that only families starting with the Lee sirname or who are closely affiliated with this first family are the only candidates who qualify for election. What a quaint and family friendly arrangement! Its just too bad that the average Singaporean is excluded from this elitist inner-circle.

However, Singapore's Ruling Elite also have to be wary of the accompanying dangers of in-breeding which can occur from a small and exclusive gene pool. Cancerous deformaities can result after generations of in-breeding.

And the Cancer has many signs and symptoms. There have already been many evident tell tale signs of the internal rot and its accompanying putrid stench. However,Singaporeans in their numbed state of awareness may be mistaking the over-powering stench of decay for sweet perfume. The entire state machinery is orchestrated to maintain this state of illusion and deception.

In the normal mechanics of an open and transparent state legislature and government, the moral values of the mans on the street is reflected (although not perfectly) in the policy formulation process. This is not the case in Singapore and your "leaders" know it. Just challenge them to run a referendum regarding their salaries and it will be evident that 90% of the population are totally disgusted by such blatant acts of greed. Of cause the local state owned media will somehow always paint the picture of an adoring and obedient public as part of an elaborate charade. So the truth never ever gets out.

Corruption of this scale starts form the top and slowly works its way down the ranks to pollute every senior arm of the state machinery from the Judiciary to Legislature to the Executive and especially to a docile and compliant state managed local press. It cannot be stopped easily without external intervention.

Slowly but surely what started off as a morally unacceptable issue becomes part and parcel of "accepted norm" which is disguised behind a pile of state endorsed laws and bills. Even the once sacred document, the Constitution, is not spared and is re-written to the whims and fancies of those they serve. How many Singaporeans are aware of the fact that the country's Constituion has been amended to allow state owned entities and GLCs easier access directly to the country's reserves? And it also does not take a genius to work out that it is the close affiliates of the Ruling Elite who sit on the management boards of these state owned entities and GLCs.

The following is a fascinating observation. The exact size of Singapore's foreign exchange reserves and the management of thses funds is designated as a STATE SECURITY FOR INTERNAL SECURITY REASONS. Is it mere co-incidence that the conservative ball park estimate of the net worth of the Lee family is roughly equivalent to your country's reserves? (USD130-140 billion?)

What you have in Singapore are a bunch of hired mercenaries who are ripping off the very people they are supposed to look after.

Singaporeans. This is your country and your life. If you continue in this state of drugged apathy, you will cease to have any control over your own faith and destiny.

Do you really want to hand over your life to the devil?

Do you want to have a Singapore with No Singaporeans?

Its time to wake up from your state of denial and confront the harsh reality before your very eyes.

Yours faithfully

Karl Capeland
Ohio State

For more details on the above, see "Lifting The Veil On Singapore Politics";
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Sg_Review/message/1755

Does splashing white paint on a black car make the black car white? You decide.

Pearls Before Swine

2005-08-03T21:34:00.000-05:00

My latest cartoon strip love

Voices in my head

2005-07-28T19:43:00.000-05:00

Weather forecast: showers in the afternoon over central and northern areas. Which means I'm not getting it; hopefully I would get some of the 'cool down' effects though.

And yes, I'm in my office right now. Woke up today with irritating Chipmunk rendition of 'Lonely... I am so lonely....' ringing in my head, which then evolved to become the Kim Jong Il's version in 'Team America Freedom thingy' or whatever that film was called.

Needless to say, it's annoying. Way worse than waking up with 'deck the halls with boughs of holy'.

Time flies when you're having FUN FUN FUN!!! :D :D :D Two more weeks left to end of intern period. Found out that a friend that got attached to a lab in Chicago is being paid USD 3000. USD 3000!!! I'm paid like SGD 1000 if I stayed for 10 weeks. omfg ok.

Already making my plans for next summer. Heh.

Great... now the song is changed to 'deck the halls'

'Don we now our gay apparel....'

wyng

Bleah

2005-07-18T19:50:00.000-05:00

Weather: Thunderstorms in the morning, overcast day

Hooray. Perfect day for a sleep in and doing nothing.

Again I'm writing this from my 'office' in DSO laboratories Singapore and it's been a kinda fun 2 weeks of internship so far. But still. Working 8 hours, five days a week during the holidays can only be so much fun. *shrugs* Oh well.

The traffic in Singapore is becoming ridiculous; you know it's becoming ridiculous when the morning radio show gives a traffic breakdown and the list of jams literally cover the entire island. Give this place another like 3 years and if the LTA does nothing, it's going to become Bangkok.

So much for Singaporeans not being able to afford cars.

My goal to pound my body into shape continues apace but this morning as I stared into the mirror, I'm starting to think that I'm maybe loosing a bit too much weight. This 'eat-exercise' balance thing is starting to kinda annoy me; maybe I should pick up those supplements again.

Oh well to that too.

There's four weeks of interning left before I get my 'nothing to do' times back again.

wyng

work work

2005-07-07T19:40:00.000-05:00

Weather: does anyone really care about the freakin weather in sg? I dun think so...

Anyhow, yes I realised that this blog needs an update, but there's quite a bit going on in my life and in my immediate reality right now, so oh well.

Won't bore people with what the hell is happening with regards to London and the IOC. If you wanna know, go to ANY news website and yeah.

Oh well, will put more in later. Meanwhile, to work.

heh

wyng

Trim and Fit

2005-06-19T20:06:00.000-05:00

Heh this article appeared in the Straits Times and I thought my friends from the great big (no punn intended) Americas would be interested/find this amusing.

Singapore praised
MR NEVILLE Rigby, the International Obesity Task Force's director of policy, singled out Singapore as one country that is fighting obesity in children.

In fact, he said, the Ministry of Education's Trim and Fit scheme and other Singapore government programmes are the only ones in the world that seem to be working.
'We need to watch Singapore. The government there was perceptive and started tackling the problem of childhood obesity long before people were talking about it,' he said.
'They are stemming the increase in obesity in children. It is quite an achievement.

'Unless children are educated to eat a healthy diet and take up physical activity, the number of children with the condition will increase.'
A study has shown that the Trim and Fit scheme, launched in 1992, has reduced obesity prevalence from 14 per cent to 9.8 per cent by 2002, he said.
It helps students from primary to pre-university levels to develop healthy eating and exercise habits.
Obesity is defined as a weight more than 120 per cent of the ideal weight.
Mr Rigby said that a cultural change is affecting countries which once had traditional vegetable and fruit diets.
'It is a kind of adaptation of Western culture where it becomes normal to be like an American, but in terms of fast food, this can also mean looking like one in terms of body shape,' he warned.
Fast food means just that, he said - buying some quick energy to eat on the go.
He said it is far better to sit down in a food court and eat what you like, like Singaporeans do. --

5 hours to flight

2005-06-13T06:50:00.000-05:00

Weather forecast: 21 degrees C, feels like 21 degrees C. Hope it won't be humid.

2 hours before my flight back home... called my cousin and found out that my Grandfather has passed away last Thursday back at his home in Ang Mo Kio.

I don't really know how to feel or what to react to, except that I was in the process of updating this so decided to dedicate a little blog space to his memory. He is a jolly man and an immensely happy one when he was living. He is a successful man: a family of daughters who loved him, and a host of grandchildren whom he loved.

The way my family works is that the younger generation (mine) are not privvy to the histories and backgrounds, not 'granted' the knowledge of my grandparents and aunts, of whatever they've gone through. Any titbit or clue of family history becomes a juicy gossip that is shared amongst my cousins. My Grandpa's past is still a mystery to me now. I know he grew up in Shantou China, and traveled to Singapore when it was colonized by the British. I know he wasn't a well educated man. I know he wasn't my Grandma's first husband, a 'fact' I independently inferred from the behavior of my aunts and gossip with my cousins. A fact which I believe is true but am unsure of its truth, as till today.

Grandpa didn't speak a single language in common with me. All he knows about me is through translations, through 'updates' from my mother. Yet I was amongst one of his favorite Grandsons. The unconditional love that I have received was amazing and expressed not through language, but through a very Chinese way: food. Trips to the market are made with me in mind; he would remember that I loved big prawns and make special purchases for them. Call me up in the morning and attempt to tell me about the prawns in Teochew, asking me to visit. A few futile attempts on my part would be made to tell him that I would visit for lunch but am busy at night; my mum would then take over the conversation to 'translate' what I was saying fom Mandarin to Teochew.

I often wondered about such love - the love and fondness that is expressed without the knowledge or communication with another. Such a phenomenon continually befuddles me. Such is the effect of a culture, a nation that has progressed near the speed of light. Such is the effect of globalization - that generations would be separate in ideals, in thoughts, in ambition.

Yet it would seem that family and familiar love remains a constant . It transcends language, it trancends ideals, it trancends politics.

'Absence makes the heart grows fonder' is a saying that is painfully true. I pray that he will find peace wherever he is now, and I pray that I have provided him joy, and have fulfilled what my role in his family as his grandson. I pray that he has found his relief in his illness, and had no regrets. I see no reason for regret, for he was an exceptional grandfather, and a successful businessman.

And in my own awkward way that hopefully did not need translation, I pray that he has realized, through our 'bilingual conversations', through my visits, through awkward attempts to update him on my life, that he has my love.

wyng

The eve of the final final

2005-06-09T20:41:00.000-05:00

Weather report: I don't really know, I just know it's bloody hot... lemme check

21 degrees C, feels like 21 degrees C = bloody hot! gosh.

I'm typing this at 2040 hours the night before my final final exam. It's Math 22000. Yay.

At this point I feel soooo burnt out and tired that I am trying my best to push on and hopefully get as prepared as I possibly can for tomorrow. I am really tired right now. Which might also explain the no-updating of this blog so far.

Well... 15 hours and it'll be done. It'll be DONE.

This quarter's been rough and I really hope it'll end well. I do have stories to tell that happened to me the past 2 weeks though. But they will have to wait.

Math finals beckon like the toll of the midnight bell. Like the ringing as darkness decends before eternal peace takes over.

wyng

Summer Plans

2005-05-25T00:33:00.000-05:00

Weather: 11 degrees C, feels like 11 degrees deg C

Today I received a notification that my application for the Venice internship got rejected; there was an overwhelming response apparently and oh well. Whatever.

NAC's loss. heh. an ego moment. please excuse me.

Which leaves me... 4 free months of nothing to do! woo hoo! Currently have ideas of backpacking around SEA... if you are reading this, and don't mind Weiyi, please email him and tell him you are interested. Those people who wanted a holiday after ORD and we didn't do it... *hint hint*

Seriously. I need some camera triggering and good food. And also some sun, sea, sand... which I have absolutely ZILCH here. like none. Ok the occasional sun, sand but no sea. Just a very polluted lake.

5 days of school to survive through. Am literally trying to survive. When this week rolls over, things would be slightly better. Then I have to try to survive finals.

Hope everyone is well.

wyng

Quote

2005-05-18T00:33:00.000-05:00

'Are you going in my direction?'
'I am, Mr Slocum, we all are....'
Mrs. Rooney in All That Fall, by Samuel Beckett

10 schooldays left

2005-05-18T00:13:00.000-05:00

Weather forecast: 12 degrees C

Why is it still cold and chilly in the middle of May? oh well...

The level of work is insane and I'm trying my best to cope with whatever's up. Doesn't help that the motet choir season is now.

The only thing that's keeping me going is the fact that there are only 10 school days left now. Chatting with people who have literally less than 10 days (i.e. 10 real days, not ten school days which becomes 27 days when you add in exam week, weekends, reading periods etc.) and am REAL envious. Am in dire need of a break.

Lesson learnt: Spring quarter is not the quarter for 4 courses and insane music classes that demand an essay every week oh well.

Thanks for the comments on the scholarship issue, some of which were pretty constructive. In one particularly enlightening case (IRL), a friend commented that it has developed into a case where people are debating about writing styles and rhetoric, and also commented that perhaps I took the original poster tooo seriously. Someone from my humanities class even dropped by and cited this as an example of 'text as an imitation' and being inferior to speech. Much has been learnt and the original intent of providing a different perspective has been fulfilled. And I'm leaving it at that. The good reader is still welcomed to drop by the post and view the discussions, though.

Cheers and hope everyone's year have beeen going well so far... it's already May and that's scary to me.

Now to much needed sleep

wyng

The Week ends

2005-05-13T14:16:00.000-05:00

Weather forecast: 18 degrees C

Spring is here and it's all well and good. And the most insane week of my year (arguably life) ends. I got a total of 20 hours of sleep for the whole week, and am highly contemplating a move to the KPTC. But the week ended so that's good.

People everywhere are finishing their exams/school term and starting summer hols. *shakes fist* there's like 3 more weeks for me. Cannot wait for the school term to end.

I'm going to knock off to bed now for a good long nap in attempt to catch up on sleep... hope everyone's doing well.

wyng

Apologies

2005-05-09T08:06:00.000-05:00

I apologise to my friends who have viewed this blog as a means of keeping in contact and knowing the on goings of my life. But the issue has fired up and I have to make a reply.

First of all, the reply to my post yesterday was made on the comment page of Paul Delima's blog, as well as my own. To the reply on my own blog, I have this to say:

Ad hominen attacks are base, crude, and foundless. Especially when the attacks to the person are without substance. Please refrain from using vulgar and crude language especially on the blog site of others.

Lucifer balls, I apologise for the insult my site has indirectly caused, it was unexpected.

Delima's reply is based solely on more appeal to unknown sources, this time with a reason behind it (so much for a free internet), and Ad Hominen attacks to myself. Again, students, the University and myself are attacked based on no foundation what so ever.

I appeal to my reader to make his/her judgements without biased and partiality.

Thank you for reading

wyng

The Scholarship Issue

2005-05-09T00:06:00.000-05:00

Ok so some background:

I picked this up at tomorrow.sg and felt a deep innate want to respond to this. Whether it's because it's the skeptic/logicist in me who cannot stand the sight of logical fallacies, or just the need to defend the position of some of my very best friends, I am thus willing to sacrifice my sleep time to do a little argument on this. For my friends and anyone of intellect and understanding who reads this, I beg you to consider my points and post a comment to help me perfect them.

Before I entreat you to pour through this topic, I will make references to logical fallacies and here is a link, an appendix if you wish to the definitions and explanations to some base fallacies. Here goes:

Ad Hominen - the attack on the person. Here the fallacy attacks the person, not the issue at stake.

Dicto Simplicita - over simplification. 'All medicine is good for you'. That's not true. That's an oversimplification of something which is way more complicated.

Selective sampling - The fallacy of picking the one bad apple in the basket, and then calling the WHOLE basket a basket of bad apples.

Appeal to unknown authority/knowledge/sources - forming claims that appeal to sources that are unknown or difficult to proof.

Bold statements does not make claims true: a statement that claims that my methodology of governance is the most efficient and humane ever means nuts if I cannot offer a coherent argument behind it.

That being introduced, I'm responding to this post:
http://karpace.blogspot.com/
http://tomorrow.sg/archives/2005/05/08/lets_shatter_all_the_scholarship.html

And here I start.

Myth 1: Scholars are smarter than anyone else
'You can get a scholarship with a measly 2 As and a B, less if you want to go to NUS"

My interpretation: if you want to go to NUS, then you need way better results. If you want to go to an overseas university, you can do with the 'measly' 2 As and a B.

My response: this is clearly an appeal to unknown source. ALL known sources will tell you that for an overseas scholarship you need 4 A level subjects (my era) and at least 2 S paper. A person with 3 A levels and no S paper would have to rely on A LOT of power of persuation to get it; and if he/she is that eloquent/charismatic, then he/she in my opinion deserves the scholarship.

It is true that Singaporean Scholar are not the smartest people in the universities, but they are no where near the lower median too. Scholarship requirements need you to maintain a GPA minimum; the latter often being WAY higher than the GPA average of many American Universities.

"There are many many more smart people out there" - first the grammar: much more people, here, much modifies more and not people so you say many people but much more. This is a statement that is true and is fact, and does nothing to aid the argument. Not all scholars (edition credit: Nicholas) claim to be the 'smartest' people in the world. Nor do all Singaporeans. Scholars are awarded Scholarship based on a contract, a bond awarded to recognize what he/she has achieved and/or worked hard for. (For the suspicious, the evidence is here: first you could try to apply for a scholarship to see if it involves hard work or not; secondly, my substantiation and 'evidence' is stated in the comments below. Edition courtesy of Nicholas)Many Singaporeans acknowledge that fact. It is NOT an award of IQ or 'smartness'.

Myth 2: 'They all go to good universities'
Immediately here many respectable universities are under attack for no reason whatsoever. Cornell is definitely a respectable university in many regards and I see no reason to doubt so. It is not in my place here to fault a university and to diminish its capabilities by mere rhetoric. And it is important here to point out that 'ranking systems' for Universities have long been debated to be unreliable, untrue and demeaning. There are at least a couple of dozen of ranking systems and to pull on one (here the source is not quoted, it is again an appeal to an unknown knowledge) is simply to play on the reader's ignorance.

Also is the good citizens of the United States and United Kingdom attacked for no reason whatsoever. Where do we see evidence that the paying, 'good' student is rare? We can only base it on our trust of the author. This applies to all the statistics that we are presented.

I come from the University of Chicago and am proud of my college and university with its affliations to over 74 nobel laureates past and present. My experience here convince me that it is a good school and is deserving of its 'prestige' and 'status'. The one who conjectures based on word on the street and rankings would have to turn to more precise definitions and historical understanding of what each college has to offer before passing judgements that are base and unfounded.

Myth 3: Scholars are pure/honest/good/saintlike/entrepreneurial/better than us

Ok this is a weird myth. Because as a Singaporean, I have no idea it existed.

The main fallacy is that of selective sampling 'I know a... I know a...' doesn't equate 'all' or even 'most'. More alarming is the trust the author of the post expects of us in his assumptions.
The amount of material presented here is loads, I shall focus on a few:

- You notice the government does not publish figures on scholar retention rates? I would suspect that as many as 70% of scholars have left their organizations within two years of their bond ending.

This is pure conjecture and has NO objective empirical substance whatsoever. Nontheless, it is immediately contradicted by this:

- The ones that leave, paradoxically and unfortunately, are often the smartest and most creative of the bunch. The ones who stay, are often the biggest apple-polishers, who have been "promised" careers (Hurray for meritocracy, right?)

Ok... so are we against or for leaving? and are we against these scholars who have newer, more 'liberal' attitudes towards the government and its methodologies and thus chooses to leave? are we against these 'smarter' people for their choices? Also, this is a case of 'dicto-simplicita' and again is an appeal to unknown knowledge.

- Many scholars, especially the ones who graduated in the last ten years, are freaking liberal as all hell. They are pro-gay, pro-free-speech, pro-rule-of-law, pro-democracy

I'm sorry but I do not understand the usage of the word 'liberal' as a BAD thing. I do not understand the idea of 'free speech', 'democracy', 'rule-of-law', 'homosexuality' as a bad thing. Here homosexuals all over the world are under the attack of a homophobe, again for no reason whatsoever. No argument against homosexuality can be made without resorting to selfish reasons to deny others off their nature. The biological argument, in case you were wondering, doesn't work. Scientist for ages have been researching 'causes' of homosexuality in gay cows and giraffes.

- I have talked with scholars who are gay, but work in parts of government where they enforce ant-gay laws and regulations

The original poster has given all explanation for these scholar's choice of secrecy. Homophobia is rampant and real in Singapore and it reflects badly on those who advocate it, not on the homosexuals themselves.

As for the TRUTH,

I have no idea how all the arguments the original poster made contributed to his conclusion. Perhaps someone would help me out in this observation of lack of coherence.

Thank you for your time

wyng

Weekend blues

2005-05-08T23:11:00.000-05:00

Weather Forecast: 20degrees C; feels like 20 degrees C = alarmingly hot!

Math midterm on Friday didn't go well; it was easy and I blanked out on a couple of easy questions. Which is not good because there are only 7 questions.

On Thursday, I conveniently forgot to go to lab in the morning, so had to make up for it on Friday night (Friday night lab!!). Went to the Medici with Su Ann after for dinner, was kinda nice and chatted with her about our attitudes towards grades.

It all boils down, for me, to pride I think. I just want to be good at what I am: a Physics major and thus want to do well for Math, but I think I stressed a bit too much about it. Should probably take things easy and simple.

I'm kinda worried now about my Math score, but am convinced that to fret about it is not the way to go about it. I just have to work harder for the finals and hopefully not foul up again. Hopefully.

Grades are just an arbitary indicator of what you know and your exam skills I guess, what's important is that I actually learned stuff and gained skills, which I did.

So much for that.

Seventh week beckons and before we know it, it's going to be exam week and then summer. Still hoping for the Venice project. Fingers crossed tight.

Hope everyone's doing well, I know this was not a very coherent post. Oh well.

wyng

and week six comes to an end

2005-05-05T21:34:00.000-05:00

weather forecast: 12 degrees C

pretty good weather I would say

Tomorrow marks the end of the first milestone of midterm madness; then after that is just the essay and a composition I have to do. But that's after tomorrow.

Spent tonnes of time with friend M on tomorrow's math midterm. Really hope we would be fine. Especially after all the wimpering and huddling in fear in the room of KPTC (Kersten Physics Teaching Centre). Sometimes you just wanna run into the adjacent RI building (Enrico Fermi Research Institute) and get lost and subsist on rats or something. And then 10 years later people will find you, filthy and hairy and disgusting and all, scratching mathematical formulae and physics equations into the walls with your fingernails and blood.

Pretty neat.

Accidentally wrote the date today as 20050 on my Music Essay, and I am reminded of an event in Microserfs where the protagonist did that and was freaked out. And I experienced that first hand. 20050 is going to exist... and that's scary. Walked around thinking that in 80 years, I'll be dead. Shared this with M, and M commented that that line of thought was especially cheery for the mood of KPTC.

Don't get me wrong, I actually LOVE that place. Serious.

Met a new person... first year doing Physics. Am going to call the person E. E is to me really hot/cute. Hope could get to know E better and alleviate the status of my love life, which is like in a state of paralysis now. Oh well.

Wish me luck for me math midterm tomorrow

wyng

the pain

2005-05-04T22:13:00.000-05:00

Weather forecast: don't know and don't care

Right now at KPTC rm 305 doing the most painful math revision ever. Literally wimpering and making funny noises. Guess that's a signal to stop. Thus this post.

Fingers crossed way hard in hopes that the midterm this friday would be ok.

Update!! Update Update!!

2005-04-28T16:44:00.000-05:00

weather forecast: 7 degrees C; feels like 3 degrees C.

Woohoo, after a few weeks of nice weather, it's back to cold and bitterness, although 7 degrees is comparatively warm; but warmth is a relative thing. When you were tempted by the hot 12 degrees C, 'feels like 3' is just bad.

The heading of this is kudos to WH's cry for update... so here it is :D I'm so sorry about the delay in getting this but this quarter IS insane and I am making it a point now to update this at least every thursday. So tune in, and if I don't, scream at me through comments or my email (those who know me).

Today was productive:

1. Found out the SWEETEST spot in the entire UoC (well at least so far) to take a... well, crap. It's Goodspeed Hall (Music Department) level 2 men's loo. Don't know if there's a ladies' equivalent (I don't really care actually). Why is it so cool? Because:

a. It's clean (well, that is the pre-requisite for cool loos)
b. The one cubicle it has for crapping is directly beside a frosted window!! This means that opening the window just a crack lets in the cool outside air. Like Al-fresco dumping.
c. It's directly over the music practice rooms. Today I crapped to the tune of Bach's Violin Suites, with Al Fresco feel and all. You GOT to try it to see how it feels.

For those who are not from UoC reading this, you're MISSING OUT man. Well I'm sure other universities have sweet public crap spots.

2. Found out that the topology of tonal relationships of music theory is a hyper-toroid. Cool huh. And it's derived from an initial 'infinite plan' topology proposed by Leonhard Euler. Yes that's the guy with the constant e.

Yeap. That's today. Hope everyone's day(s) were good.

wyng

Summer Camp

2005-04-14T16:49:00.000-05:00

Weather Forecast: 11 degrees C, feels like 11 degrees C NO WIND. yeah right.

What's the windy city without wind?

Today I was walking to lab in the morning and suddenly had this 'summer camp' feel. Like my college years is this amazingly prolonged 4 year summer camp, like OBS or something. Don't know if anyone has that kind of feel before.

And then I reminded myself that I'm in Chicago, and for 10 seconds I was really amazed at that fact before succumbing to the overhanging worry and lethargy of work and nonsense. Life is such an endless cycle of nonsense.

But the point is, I'm here. And now I'm trying to immortalise (to some extent) that 10 sec of amazment I had in the middle of the Campus Quadrangles, overcome again with the beauty of this school and the smell of burning rubber. Don't ask about the burning rubber. Recalled the days in Tekong (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) where you would look up at the planes flying over and silently wish for the time to come when you would be on one of them, and you would be flying out of that hell hole to somewhere, for me, it was the future where I would be embarking on something new, something exciting which was this: my time in Chicago.

And I'm here. So it is kinda amazing.

wyng

Clarifications...

2005-04-13T22:03:00.000-05:00

Weather forecast: 9 degrees C, feels like 2 degrees C

Ok so someone read my blog, caught me online and told me that she thought I'm having fun and everything is namby pamby.

Ok so I am having fun, but everything is not so namby pamby, just to clarify...

This is probably my toughest quarter yet. My music class is intense, but fun and enriching and all but still intense. So whatever.

Ok so I got to get some work done now... but I will be back.

wyng

RE. Comments

2005-04-09T17:11:00.000-05:00

For all those out there who fed back to me that they have to register to comment, the format is now changed. Anyone should be able to leave comments now... so thanks for the attention/patience and do say 'hi'!

wyng

Spring is here!!

2005-04-09T16:59:00.000-05:00

Weatherforecast: 9 degrees C. Feels like 7 degrees C. = WARM!!!

It's SO amazing outside and Chicago is like transformed. It's great. Adding that amazing jog by lake michigan and through Midway Plaisance (this amazing park connector that cuts through UoC) to my workout routine and loving it. It's so amazing.

Today bunch of friends and neighbours in my corridor are going to discuss next year's housing plans and stuff. Hopefully it will all work out. It's kinda cool that all five people in my corridor wants to live together. So that's great.

Met old friend S yesterday and realised how much I missed S. Man. Was kinda nostalgic and reminded me of the fact that past years are in fact really passed and can never be recovered. It is such an overlooked fact that it really hit me, that how we are really speeding forward without the option of turning back.

It also hit me that I only have 3 summer holidays left, before I become a full fledge, full time, working adult. ewww. ewwww. ewwww.

Oh well.

wyng

HELLO!

2005-03-26T09:41:00.000-06:00

Weather forecast (NYC) 7 degrees C; feels like 4 degrees C = GOOD!

Hello all, yes this is me after spring break suffering from:

1) Holiday withdrawal
2) WoW withdrawal

I guess when I get back to school both would even out. So that's cool. Spring break has come to a sad end, though it was an amazing experience. Thanks to N and his family for having me over in Vermont - spent two days there in the country side, went snowshoeing and stuff and then am currently spending another 2 days or so in NYC. Saw Times Square and the Metropolitan Museum of Art and Central Park and what have you not. So that's..

great.

It's back to school tomorrow and a bit of mixed feelings; generally looking forward to it but a bit of it is frustrated with the essay trauma, the what nots and the what nots. Have not exactly recovered from all that has happened last quarter; a single week is not exactly enough.

But is better than none. Oh well; to recall what a friend said: 'No one needs a holiday than a person who just had one.'

Oh well.

Grades for last quarter were ooooh..kay.... which is ok i guess. (Not very coherent in this post, apologies). At least I did ok for Math which I thought I was going to totally fling and bomb and get a C- on it.

Thank god that didn't happen.

NYC would be over for me in about 9 hours. And then it will be vermont. And then Chicago.

I love Chicago

wyng

Springtime... for...

2005-03-18T07:42:00.000-06:00

Weather forecast: 1 degrees C, feels like 4 degrees C

Walking a few days ago and realised that some wild flowers are starting to grow = spring, then the next day (i.e. yesterday) it snowed, and am wondering if them flowers survived.

Am writing in the shade of the Calculus final, which is arguably one of the most traumatic experiences in my life. But oh well... this quarter has gone by really fast, and yet had an effect on me that is oh so draining, I would be happy to be over and done with. I just want to be slightly above or on the class average.... I'm not greedy.

Heh... can't wait. in 5 hours time, I'll be getting a sandwich and heading back to do those useless chores like cleaning up, laundry, etc. that is oh so relaxing after eleven weeks of insanity.

Hope everyone is doing good and well. Spring is here and let's all cheer.

wyng

As the quarter comes to an end

2005-03-08T15:36:00.000-06:00

Weather forecast: -8 degrees Celsius. Feels like -15 degrees Celsius.

There have been people asking me what's with the 'feels like how many degrees' thingy, and I just have to say, -8 degrees means that the objective temperature outdoors is -8, but with windchill, snow fall etc. it feels like -15. i.e. Wind and snow sucks.

There we go.

As the quarter comes to an end, we are again treated to Schizo Chicagoan weather. On sunday it was 15 degrees Celsius which makes it amazingly warm; people were tanning, playing frisbee etc. On monday it snowed.

Sucks.

Exam is in a week, actually less than a week and if you ask me how I am doing this quarter, I have zilch idea about what the hell I was doing this quarter. Placed in a lot less effort, was playing games etc. and crossing my fingers that eventually everything will go well.

I seriously hope that everything will go well.

Spring break plans are confirmed: no more Wisconsin trip as I wanna cut costs and also spend a few days in Chicago regaining my sanity before going over to Vermont to spend time with N and his family. His family is taking a one day trip to New York so I'm tagging along. Should be fun, if not interesting.

Received a call a few days ago from my parents and realised that I have only called them a grand total of 3 times this quarter. Dad says he misses me; that's direct. Getting the usual nagging from mum. It's kinda good that they finally realise that they are dependant on me more than me on them. But oh well.

Couple of people mentioned that they couldn't leave messages because you have to be a member to do so... changed it so that you don't. Now anybalihoo can leave a note so please do! :D As for those who have been dropping in on my world consistently, I appreciate your concern (at least I hope it is concern) and interest.

wyng

Song Lyrics

2005-03-06T20:57:00.000-06:00

Weather Forecast: 12 degrees C = Spring is here which is good

Mood today is wanting-to-share-song-lyrics, so here goes

'You are There'

In the evening,
When the kettle's on for tea,
An old familiar feeling settles over me,
And at your face I see,
And I believe that you are there.

In the garden,
When I stop to touch a rose,
And feel the petals soft and sweet against my nose,
I smile and I suppose,
That somehow maybe you are there.

When I'm dreaming,
And I find myself awake without a warning,
Then I rub my eyes,
And fantasize,
And all at once I realise...

It's morning,
And my my fantasy is fading,
Like a distant star at dawn,
My dearest dream is gone...

I often think there's just one thing to do...

Pretend the dream is true...

And tell myself...

That you are there.

take care all
wyng

1211 am

2005-03-04T00:11:00.000-06:00

There are days
When you wake up and
Hear
Feel
See
Live.

Hello

2005-03-04T00:08:00.000-06:00

Weather Forecast: 2 degrees C with snow = ugh

Have you read a happy blog before? Like one that's seriously optimistic and cheerful with happy thoughts and elated feelings? I know mine is definitely not...

There's something inherently 'satisfying' about writing and reading about other's tragedies, comedic 'fuck-ups' and 'what nots' and things that people get irritatied by... probably the Nietzscherian Dionysian 'suffering' that is the universal constant; the one thing that everyone associates and empathises with.

But oh well. I cannot deny that there is something satisfying about cyber whining.

You have a great day now; and hopefully so would I.

Cheers!

wyng

Wednesday Morning

2005-03-02T07:50:00.000-06:00

We sit around in
our room of mess
and wonder
if we will ever clean it up

Midst of Midterm

2005-02-27T21:28:00.000-06:00

Weather Forecast: 2 degrees C = WARM! :P

Wondering now if anyone reads my blog/ finds it worth reading regularly heh... if you do pop in, do feel free... ok .... please drop a note to say hi! I'm friendly and warm and fuzzy.

It has been a hectic hectic one week and will end tomorrow with a climatic bang called Math Midterm. Which also happens to be one of the most traumatic things of my life. But oh well.

School's coming to a close which is kinda abrupt considering how it doesn't even feel like its started. Well at least Spring break beckons... which is kinda nice especially considering it would be a welcomed breather before the next ten weeks of thingamajigs and notadonugs.

Taking a break now from the fundamental laws of calculus and defining Cos and Pi.

So... my spring break plans, might travel up North to Wisconsin with X for 3 days because I love the cold so much. Then probably either: 1. Flying to Vermont to join my friend N for the spring or 2. Going to NY to find my friend DT or 3. Going to Connecticut to meet my friend DK.

New York looks really $$$ and my dough is getting low. And waiting with baited breathe that which is called PAY DAY.

Woo hoo... good luck to all, and going to be direct: Good luck to me tomorrow. Think I'll need lots of it.

2 multiplied by the integral of (1-x^2)root from -1 to 1
is pi

wyng

Apologies

2005-02-23T08:35:00.000-06:00

Apologies for the non-updating but this week has been insane. When this week is over, skies will be bluer, grass greener, weather warmer (I wish)... bit seriously, the workload will ease off and I will get around to updating this.

Welcome Big Earth Return Spring

wyng

WoW

2005-02-18T19:01:00.000-06:00

Weather Forecast: -2 degrees C feels like -9 degrees C

My life is TOTALLY overtaken by World of Warcraft. It's insane. That game is reaching out from the confines of my laptop to engulf me whereever I go, be it in school, during dinner, at a movie etc.

Beware the evils that is MMORPG.

Anyhow, friend D called yesterday and that was nice, because haven't heard from him for awhile. Friend D called from connecticut, and I might be going over there/NY for the spring break. So that's cool.

Friend D reminded me that spring break is in about one month, which means that finals is in about three weeks. Quarter system sucks so bad.

Trying to write and wrestle with weird concepts introduced in the Hume class (Apollinian and Dionysian forces of art, kooky). Draft didn't turn out s o well, would probably have to speak to my prof about it on Monday/Tuesday. Most likely Tuesday because Monday looks insanely awful - classes from 9:30 - 5 with an hour lunch break, almost like work but way more brain demanding.

But thank god it's Friday.

wyng

Wisdom Blues removed

2005-02-13T22:16:00.000-06:00

Weather Forecast: -2 degrees Celsius, feels like -9 Degrees C and with miserable god-awful rain

Sucks

Went to the Student Care Centre at the university hospital and they said that they have no dental department. BUT the nurse did give me an examination of my teeth and claimed that since there's no infection/fever/swelling... the pain might just be it growing and everything might be fine.

Got some painkillers and it's better now :D No surgery for me then... which is great.

Today I read W.E.B. Du Bois' 'The Souls of Black Folk' and it's AMAZING stuff... especially the last few chapters where he paints tragedies and Spiritual Songs. It's such a powerful book, and made me actually empathic about the problems of black folk after the Emancipation.

Again, the Media Aesthetics class I'm taking is amazing. Everytime I finish a reading/discussion/essay, my life's been literally changed. And I never view anything at an ignorant appetitive level anymore. It's so awesome.

Valentine's day tomorrow... wishing all of you a romantic Valentine's. Or if you're back in Singapore, a 'LO MAN TICK' Valentines.

For everyone that's single and looking, have faith... that's me too.

Everything we do is in a way impossible - the odds of something happening is either zero or staggeringly high. Like what's the percentage chance, if viewed in a large perspective, that you're reading this at this particular time now? Very low or 100%, depending on which quantum philosophy you believe in. Just the same way, the odds of true love are stacked - or 100%, but it happens and I believe will happen to everyone. Just as my fingers are acquainted with the 'n' key at the point of typing that, we will all get acquainted with true love and warmth.

Ok, goofy attempt at quantum philosophy + bad analogy + mushiness = oh well

Heh oh well

wyng

Wisdom Blues and Year of the Cock

2005-02-11T07:51:00.000-06:00

Weather Forecast: -2 degrees C, feels like - 9 degrees C = windy

Can't remember if I wished you guys a happy chinese new year at time of typing this and am not looking at my past posts to check, so here we go: happy chinese new year. Yippee.

All my midterms turned out pretty ok... so this mid term season/episode went pretty well. Then there's that intuition/philosophy/superstition/mumbo-jumbo that when everything's going well, you have to brace yourself for disaster.

And disaster struck... my lower right wisdom is giving me trouble and causing pain. This sucks SO BAD. Got my left wisdoms (both of them) removed last year at around this time, and the dentist then claimed that I would be fine not removing my right one. And now it's making itself known unnecessarily.

It's going to suck so much, because the procedure sucks, the after-math sucks, the drugs sucks, the missing school and falling behind sucks, the waking up in a pool of blood at your pillow sucks, the not able to eat solid foods sucks, the only eat ice cream and get fat because you can't exercise sucks.

And on top of it, I found out the HARD way that I have no dental insurance in the states. So that means it's going to cause a bomb, sucks.

Getting it examined this afternoon and am probably having to pay like 200 USD for a teeth Xray. Am not going to be surprised if that really happens.

And hopefully, hopefully it's just growing normally and not impacted. Hopefully I won't have to surgically remove it.

Sucks.

wyng

Long Weekend comes to End

2005-02-07T19:04:00.000-06:00

Weather Forecast: 7 degrees C. Real Warm

Went out for the first time in like 3 days of staying bed and doing nothing... felt good even I wasn't feeling 100% or even 70% better. Oh well.

The whole university town was grey and moody, there was a migrating flock of geese who rested atthe midway today at the melted snow ponds and it was really picturesque. Those of you who have seen the University of Chicago in Winter, or even the University of Chicago at all, will know what I am talking about. Well I'm grateful I'm studying in a beautiful campus with amazingly 'fairy taley' buildings.

The flu has degenerated into a cough, as before and hopefully in a few days I would be feeling well again. Feeling really frail and weak now and cannot wait to start a brand new gym routine again and hopefully bulk up a bit: new gym aims for the coming quarter.

Hope everyone is doing well and don't skip the echinecea!

wyng

Flu Bug strikes

2005-02-06T22:38:00.000-06:00

Weather Forecast: Don't know and don't care

Sucks to be coughing and breathing through my mouth....

wyng

Half the hell is over

2005-01-29T08:47:00.000-06:00

Weather Forecast: -3 degrees C outside. % chance for precip. 60.

Friday's gone and that means that half the hell is over, a midterm is over and essay is done up... all that's left is the most traumatic of all: Calc midterm

Last Thursday I had the most amazing lab session EVER... the fuse box fused TWICE because people forgot to connect the resistor to the circuit, so... we only had to map two configurations of field lines and we got to go... that's so cool, I have like the best TA ever.

Thought about what my keyboard lab TA said and decided to try to get jazz piano lessons... this should be fun. In the process of being matched up to a grad student/faculty member though. The harmony class is doing me good... probably am going to go for a Reinassance reading session on Tuesdays and then next quarter, I am definitely joining the Motet Choir. It's about time I look to other activities to expand my social circle and all.

There are still remnants of bitterness over X but I guess that is steadily being streamlined into the undercurrents so I hope that succeeds somewhat.

wyng

A happier post

2005-01-26T16:39:00.000-06:00

Weather out: -3 degrees C, -9 with wind chill and snowing, though it's soft and flaky.

Read through my posts before and well, they were kinda depressing so here I am trying to do a happier, more self-indulgent post (as though my previous ones weren't... lol xD )

Well... I guess after this week of insane hell, things would be better. Now if only I can get around to doing up that essay. Ugh.

Today I had the sudden urge to wanna go buy a good translation of the Principia and read it. Maybe I will do that after all the midterms. Maybe I'll get World of Warcraft and start a character too... that would be pretty fun, albeit a bit no life.

School today was normal, which is GOOD. Got out of the 'out of it' mode.. I was sooo out of it on Monday... fell asleep in Calculus
:( which is NOT good because there's only about 20 people in that class.

Oh well.

Next week am going to have an appointment with my academic advisor to see how things work out, also I plan to do Summer school abroad... my sponsor will pay for it so that's nice. Thinking of UK, somewhere nice like Imperial College which is at the heart of London.

But that might be expensive, I might just want to go to another school in the States... the dollar is definitely more manageable than the pound. Plus it's like weakening drastically against the Sing dollar... I should get my sponsor to pay my allowance in Sing.

Heh.

wyng

Warm Day

2005-01-25T11:59:00.000-06:00

Warm day today: -3 degrees C and NO snow!! yippee

Things look good with X and I, looks like it has reverted to 'close friends' mode. It might just be that the bad feelings are relegated to the continuous undercurrent of bad things. So that's bad.

But oh well.

Today is my free day and usually that means 'slack around and do nothing day'. Hopefully that's not the case... I've got:

Essay due on Friday
Midterm on Friday
Midterm on Monday

and that's the major stuff, on top of all the itty bitty homework stuff

Today during keyboard lab quiz my lab TA asked me if I'm still taking piano lessons, and I said actually no and I'm actually out of practice for quite a long while. Then she said that I must have once been very good then. Quite a compliment, and made me feel a tinge of sadness and regret for stopping piano practice... well just a tinge.

Maybe I will pick it up again, maybe I dunno.

Eating a pesto pasta salad now... good! That's lunch. Hopefully homework will be after this and then more productive things to come. Tidied up my room yesterday and it's enjoyable again :) At least that doesn't contribute to the cluttered mind.

Cheerios with a big O

wyng

And yet a new week beckons

2005-01-23T09:39:00.000-06:00

Weather forecast: -11 degrees C. And STILL snowing.

The pain has went away and has now joined the huge undercurrent of emotions that everyday you try to block out, try to ignore so that you can get on with your life in a mask of content and deceit.

Ok dark thoughts for a Sunday.... banish banish. Doesn't help that eventually I'll have to get around to reading Nietzsche.

I guess X and I are still friends, although I am starting to have my own suspicions about X and the real motivations behind the stop in dating. Whatever.

Yesterday productive things happen and as Slartibartfast says 'Great things are afoot'. Started an on-campus acapella group with four other house mates and the chemistry looks good, and things are moving on and everyone's psyched. Set direction and goals in first meeting and am under the working name of 'The Sopranos' (we have no Sopranos). yeah cheesy but oh well. Oh, and to add to a bit of drama, X is in the acapella group.

Hopefully things will eventually straighten themselves and work out well.

wyng